The Rise of Dr Purple the Movie
by Fiona Fargazer
Summary: After getting lost at sea the Big Cheese and Jerry find themselves on the island of the banished Dr. Purple who returns with them to Little Tokyo for vengeance. However, Jerry discovers he has more reason to wreak vengeance when he learns what happened to his best ninja Bad Bird and whose side he's on now. (Based loosely on the plot of the two unfinished seasons)
1. Someone's Island Paradise

JMJ

NOTE: _I was just introduced to this show by my brother not that long ago and I'm enjoying myself with it. This is a story made up by my brother, my sister, and myself that I couldn't resist writing down. The plot is based loosely on the summery of what the other two seasons would have been like only packed together more as a movie. I'm sure lots of other people have already done this, but I decided to put it up anyway. And even though it seems that the Big Cheese wasn't going to be in it anymore after the first season we thought it just wouldn't be Pizza Cats without him. XD  
_

The Rise of Dr. Purple

CHAPTER ONE

The rhythm of the waves proved steady and accommodating now that the sun had come out and the wind had stopped whipping so badly. They splashed up against the raft as they rolled by causing it to rise and fall in a docile sort of manner at least in comparison to how it had been thrashed about hardly an hour before. Indeed, it was the perfect sailing weather, but after three months floating on an eight-by-eight foot diameter of space any weather would seem just fine … if it had only been on dry land rather than in the middle of the ocean sailing aimlessly.

They were lost.

Neither one said anything about this simple fact however much conversation grew close to touching the subject.

After the horrible storm, the third or fourth one they had just barely endured during their already unbearable time at sea, it could be called a miracle they still had the raft at all. The sail was in shreds — so much for sailing. They were just riding the waves. They had nothing with which to mend the sail aside from the lines in the fishing rods, and they had no intention of using those. They were lucky enough that they had managed to save the poles from the menacing grip of the storms. However, despite these good fortunes (one being that they were alive at all) in an otherwise awful predicament, the Big Cheese, the X-prime minister of Little Tokyo and X-crime lord, had spent about a half hour complaining of having nothing to eat on this stupid voyage but sushi without rice, tamari, vegetables or even a strip of nori to go with it. They had run out of any other food they may have brought with them which had not been much with the Big Cheese's short-sightedness of the situation. He had hoped to have landed in China long ago, but after that first storm neither he nor Jerry knew if they would ever catch sight of land again.

At least Jerry had had the foresight of bringing along a very good quality water filter with which to filter the salt from the sea water. Potentially they could be sailing forever as long as there was someone to clean the filter once in a while, but the Big Cheese was more upset that the last bottle of sake had been swept away by the last storm.

With a heavy sigh, the Big Cheese slumped to his knees and dipped his pole in the water as Jerry was doing, completely ignoring his X-superior as he concentrating on the sea and his pole and nothing more.

"Maybe I should have left that comet alone and just got married like everyone else," the Big Cheese said.

Jerry glanced over his shoulder with some annoyance, and as he returned to his pole he muttered under the sound of the waves, "No one in their right mind would want to marry you."

But the Big Cheese did not hear this. He simply sighed again and added, "At least I would have ended up happy."

Jerry snorted, and the Big Cheese did hear this. Now it was his turn to glare at Jerry with more than annoyance. His eyes twitched with the glint of a madman, which he was after all, and Jerry after having noticed this glare out of the corner of this eye, gave the tiniest bit of a start before he said quickly, "Yes, yes, that would have been nice, but you still would have had to deal with the fact that you lost your position!"

That statement did not help much, and leaping to his feet the Big Cheese dropped his pole and growled. Jerry instantly became more concerned about the pole than inciting the rage of the explosive maniac and dove for all he was worth to the other side of the raft with his own pole still in hand. He grasped the Big Cheese's pole just in time and sighed with relief as he pulled it back onto the raft. They could not afford to lose anything else!

"It's not fair, Jerry, it's just not fair!" the Big Cheese said stamping his foot onto the raft like a bratty child who lost his dessert.

"That they kicked you out, because you flitted away their money on clothes and robots?" asked Jerry with a raised brow.

For a split second it looked like the Big Cheese would explode at that, but instead with a grumpy pout he leaned in close to Jerry and muttered, "You know, I'm this close to shoving you into the water and leaving you there."

"Then you would have no one that knew how to fillet a fish," retorted Jerry. "And besides I _can_ fly a little ways if I absolutely have to. In case you didn't know …"

" _Hrmph_!" The Big Cheese crossed his arms, but his mind had digressed to his earlier topic, "I wonder who I could have married anyway. I didn't know any women that I didn't completely despise." He laughed humorlessly as Jerry offered him his pole and they continued fishing again. "Of course, I despise everyone. So there … Especially now that I'm … that I'm a stupid outlaw like _you_."

Jerry closed his eyes patronizingly, and though he thought of a great number of comebacks to this statement, he did not want to risk the destruction of the raft from one of the Big Cheese's explosions. So after dipping the lure and hook into the water again, he on one side of the craft and the sulking fox on the other, he changed the topic himself.

"I had love once."

The Big Cheese winced as he tried to figure out if he heard that correctly. He may have been crazy, but he was not too crazy to think that Jerry caring about anyone especially in a romantic manner was the weirdest thing ever to come out of the moldy beak of that old ninja crow.

"Really?" he could not help but ask.

Jerry smiled and blushed stupidly at the recollection of the near-forgotten _her_ as he gazed off over the horizon.

The Big Cheese had by now turned around and stared at Jerry with complete disbelief as Jerry went on.

"She was very beautiful," he said in a rather goofy manner, "and very witty. Not as witty as myself, you understand. And she had a lovely singing voice. I used to call her 'chan'."

After one or two blank blinks, the Big Cheese's jaw became slightly ajar as it occurred to him that maybe Jerry was just going crazy after all, and he had not been around for that gigantic train incident to see that fiasco.

"But …" Jerry sighed. "It was not to last. We did not see eye to eye about the clan. She was part of the clan. Just far enough off in the genealogy that we could have been together, but she did not like where the clan was headed and had different ideas about the clan that were dishonorable to our leader at the time. Of course, this brought tension to our relationship, because I agreed only one hundred percent with our leader."

"Uh … Sorry?" muttered the Big Cheese.

"She died," Jerry then explained closing his eyes lightly.

"Oh, I'm sorry …" said the Big Cheese wincing again.

"Don't be," sniffed Jerry, eyes still closed. "I'm the one who killed her. It was for the honor of the Flying Skulls. She had to be stopped."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" exclaimed the Big Cheese and returning hesitantly back into position (hesitant because he was not certain he wanted to turn his back to Jerry). When he finally had his pole and posture back to where they had been he muttered, "Sorry I asked … stupid, creepy ninja …"

A depraved smile appeared on Jerry's face then, but before he could speak, the Big Cheese leapt to his feet again quite abruptly.

"What's that!?" the Big Cheese cried thrusting his finger out in front of him.

"The pole, Seymour! The pole!" Jerry gasped, but it was too late, and he nearly lost his own pole in the excitement.

The Big Cheese's pole drifted away from the raft out of either of their reach.

"No, Jerry, you idiot!" cried the Big Cheese grabbing him around the middle with one arm and giving him a kiss for joy. "Look! Do you see what I see?"

After gagging, Jerry looked and his eyes lit up with the same enthusiasm; though, he did not have the impulse to kiss anything, except maybe the ground once they reached it.

"Land!" gasped Jerry.

The Big Cheese dropped him. "Yes! We're saved! Land ho! We're saved, Jerry!"

And he began to dance. Jerry could not help but join him until the Big Cheese exclaimed, "Oh! I'm so happy! I can't contain myself!" And he hugged his sides in glee.

"Well, please try!" said Jerry nervously. "At least till we reach land! Please!"

"Too late!" grinned the Big Cheese, and with that he exploded.

But it was not all bad. The explosion, although painful and having destroyed their raft, caused enough lift to blow the pair right into the direction of the land, and they landed in the shallows before the vast white beach. Leaping upright within seconds, the pair hardly felt their wounds as they splashed to the dry sand and leaped again for joy and kissed the solid ground beneath them. They even broke out in song they were so happy, and they went on in this way until they were quite worn out and grew to just sitting on the beach a moment or so as they tried to collect themselves enough to make a next move.

"Do you think we've landed in China?" asked the Big Cheese.

"I don't think so," Jerry replied. "To be honest, although I hate to dampen anyone's spirits, this is probably some forsaken island with no inhabitants except maybe some savage King Kong-like tribes with little to no modern development and a culture for cannibalism. We're probably way out on the Pacific somewhere, or we would have reached China long ag—"

 _BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzchtz …_

At first Jerry thought the sound came from the Big Cheese's head and he quickly covered his own head for a second impact, but as he threw a wary eye on his unfortunate companion, he saw that the Big Cheese was also surprised by the mechanical sound. It sounded a little like a buzz saw or perhaps a small chainsaw.

After exchanging glances with one another, the Big Cheese and Jerry headed toward the bushes from whence the sound had come, and upon poking their heads out the other side, their eyes grew all the wider.

"No modern development, huh?" the Big Cheese muttered. "Looks like we may have made it to China after all."

Glancing around at the busy little silvery workers, Jerry said nothing for the moment. They were about the size of the lower members of the ninja clan. Although they looked like no animal in particular that Jerry knew of, they took on a complete person-like appearance. They worked with a vast assortment of tools and flew with jet propulsion to the tops of trees.

They did not notice the Big Cheese or Jerry. Not even when the Big Cheese left his hiding spot did they respond. There seemed to be two tasks at hand and those two alone: trimming trees and harvesting fruit.

Tapping one on the back the Big Cheese demanded to know where they were, but the worker did not answer.

"Forget it, Big Cheese. They aren't people in the remotest cyber-genetic degree," said Jerry.

"I can see that," retorted the Big Cheese, "but that doesn't mean that they can't speak or have cue commands. They're obviously somebody's robot slaves. I wonder why I didn't think of that. Then I wouldn't have had to deal with the Ninja Crows."

Coming out of the shrubbery himself now, Jerry muttered, "My ninja are smarter than unresponsive robots."

"Then I could have remote controlled them," said the Big Cheese.

"Then who would have built them for you or fixed them when they broke?" Jerry growled.

The Big Cheese crossed his arms. "This argument is pointless."

"My sentiments exactly."

"Then what's the big idea arguing with everything I say?" the Big Cheese demanded.

Jerry rolled his eyes.

Looking up greedily at the tropical fruit in the orchard tree, the Big Cheese meant what he said about wanting no further argument. "I wonder if they'd notice if we took some of those tangerines or whatever-they-are off the trees."

"It's difficult to say …" Jerry said rubbing his head as he watched the fox head for the nearest tree.

"Alright then," said the Big Cheese. "Jerry, go up that tree and get me some!"

"What!" Jerry exclaimed. "But—"

"I thought you said you could fly short distances if absolutely necessary," the Big Cheese reminded him. "Unless you were bluffing! I require fruit!" And he stamped his foot on the ground.

With a low growl, Jerry was about to say something he would have regretted, but instead of having to worry about the consequences that would have come of it, he was surprised yet again as one of the robots floated up to the Big Cheese and handed him a bucket of fruit.

"The fruit you required, sir," said the mechanical voice.

The Big Cheese laughed. "There, you see, Jerry!? Robot slaves."

And immediately the Big Cheese sat himself on the ground and began to scratch away at the peal ravenously.

"After weeks and weeks or nothing but fish! And now finally I have something else!" He paused and glanced at Jerry still standing there with a full glower. "Well, come on! Help me peal these."

Snatching some of the fruit out of the basket, Jerry did as commanded; though it was more out of habit and concern about the Big Cheese's wrath than any form of loyalty. Not that his loyalty in the past had been exactly genuine in most cases regardless of whether or not the clan believed the Big Cheese to have saved him from death. And this flaky loyalty had grown shakier still in the latter end of their criminal exploits before their flight over seas. And now that the Big Cheese had lost all power, both politically and in the underworld, there seemed little reason to give him loyalty at all, except that at the moment Jerry had nothing else — not even a raft anymore. And as much as he hated to admit it there was a part of him that like his company; though he could not for the life of him figure out why.

So as he mulled over these things and peeled exotic fruit (and ate some when the Big Cheese wasn't looking before handing some over as though he had become some kind of servant) he came to a sort of compromise with himself that once he became reunited with the clan he would ditch the Big Cheese for good. He could take the clan up north to the mountains and regroup a little before returning to Little Tokyo for one great blast of vengeance before his age caught up with him.

But then he was angry with the Big Cheese. Who knew? It could cool off. Maybe once they returned to Japan he could find a different way to make the Big Cheese useful.

He came up with a different compromise: stick with the Big Cheese until their return to Japan, and then decide what to do about their affiliation.

In the meantime …

"Ah!" exclaimed the Big Cheese throwing his hands behind his head. "I feel much better. Let's go have a look around."

Jerry did not disagree, and as some of the robotic workers were leaving with the buckets of fruit by now as well, the pair decided to follow where they floated off to.

Trees and shrubbery blocked most of their vision from going too far, but they were able to catch sight of the robots floating over the jungle canopy — at least for a time. After a while they lost sight of them.

"Hmm, maybe we should go back," said the Big Cheese thoughtfully; Jerry could hear the tremulous fear in the back of his tone.

"Oh, no, Big Cheese," retorted the old bird. "There's no way we're turning back to a broken raft. I can hear the machinery, and it's getting louder. Can't you hear it with your big ears?"

The Big Cheese was taken aback, and stopping dead in his tracks he glared.

Turned around Jerry glanced back at him. "What's wrong, Big Cheese?"

"Do you really think my ears are big, Jerry?" demanded the vain creature touching his ears to feel their height.

Jerry sighed and went around the back of him to push him forward. "Come on."

"I mean, I always considered my ears to be the best proportioned," the Big Cheese went on as he allowed himself to pushed along. "I'm practically royalty. My pedigree is perfect. Perfect-sized head, perfectly set jaw and perfect shoulders. And besides! What would you know about ear sizes anyway? You don't even have ears! You're a crow. You're lucky I allow you to be anywhere near me. You don't even have a pedigree."

"I didn't mean anything badly by it, Big Cheese. I just wanted you to listen to the machinery that's going on right over—"

The Big Cheese shoved Jerry aside and stopped again. "Forget about what you think you heard, Jerry. You don't have any ears, but I have wonderfully big ears, and I say that _I_ hear a city right over there over the side of that ledge. Let's go check it out."

"Uh … great idea Big Cheese."

"Well, you don't have to kiss up at me about it," the Big Cheese muttered as he marched past Jerry with a huff.

As they came to the ledge they saw that they were looking down into a wide valley. There was no city however many structures there were. The structures were all factory-like in nature, and there were no signs of people of any kind. Nor were there roads or carts. The sleek, silvery robots floated everywhere they went. Inside the buildings emanated the sounds of grinding gears and clanking presses.

Oh, wait! There was one road. Only one. And it led to their right up to a mountain, and right into its middle was built what looked like a vast science-fiction manor: wide windows of odd shapes and clean balconies and many shafts and even a set of stairs that led to a pair of broad doors. It all looked rather impressive, and flashes of the _Island of Dr. Moreau_ flashed through Jerry's mind. Or maybe it was just the lightning flash that appeared out of nowhere behind the manor on this otherwise very sunny cloudless afternoon.

"You're right," said Jerry eyeing the manor with suspicion under a shelter of thick brows. "We should go back."

"No way, Jerry," said the Big Cheese holding the old crow back by the wrist. "We're going straight up to that palace and find out where we are. There's gotta be some people around here!"

And with that he set off.

 _What a time to decide to_ not _be cowardly_ , thought Jerry with annoyance, but he followed him. For some reason he could not fathom, he followed him.

#

As they climbed the steps, besides become greatly fatigued from walking for so long, the Big Cheese began to feel less and less optimistic about knocking upon those vast doors, which had not looked quite so vast from the cliff. His mind flooded with an assortment of creepy inhabitants from ghosts, to goblins, to military posts that may recognize him as an outlaw and throw him in a dungeon without food and water. He also thought about a cool glass of lemonade, for his patrician tongue was parched and most unused to being so even during their ride on the sea with Jerry's water filter.

When he at last dragged himself to the last step just behind a withering Jerry who was not really in any better shape than him (except for the fact that he had an excuse being over eighty years old), he could not bring himself to knock on the doors or push the giant doorbell to the left of them.

"Jerry," he said, straightening a crick in his back in between panting. "Go knock on the door."

"Me?" demanded Jerry. "You're the one who wanted to come up here."

"I don't pay you to contradict me!" snapped the Big Cheese.

"Last time I checked," snapped Jerry in return, "you haven't paid me in quite some time, and you've never paid me anything _close_ to minimum wage."

"Whaddya mean!? You got to come into the palace any time you wanted and eat _my_ food behind _my_ back _and_ drink all the emperor's finest, most expensive teas, not to mention! Isn't that pay?" demanded the Big Cheese. "And anyway you're a ninja! _You_ can just steal food and money any time _you_ want!"

"We were too busy building your stupid robots!"

" _My_ stupid robots?" exclaimed the Big Cheese stamping his foot. "You're the one who came up with all those failed ideas. Have you forgotten? All my ideas are _faultless_. You're confusing the issue! Just ring the doorbell!"

But neither needed to knock or ring the doorbell. A queer sort of camera suddenly appeared from above the door and slid on a snaky wire towards them just before the desperate pair was about to bring out fists.

"Ah!" exclaimed a sophisticated-sounding voice from the camera's speaker. "So you're the ones who interrupted my orchard workers in their work."

Both Jerry and the Big Cheese spun around at the camera wide-eyed and blinking stupidly.

" _He_ did it!" cried the Big Cheese thrusting a finger to Jerry. " _He's_ the thief! He's a ninja! I'm just an innocent victim of circumstance! I'm his hostage! He's crazy!"

Jerry rolled his eyes.

The voice in the camera laughed, and not very pleasantly. "Don't worry about that. I'm the only one here, and I was hoping whoever interrupted my robot would come over for a visit."

"We should go," growled Jerry to the Big Cheese under his breath.

"There hasn't been a visitor here on the island," the voice continued, "for over twenty years when I came to settle here myself."

"This is an island!?" gasped the Big Cheese.

"Of course!" exclaimed the voice. "Where did you think you were? China? But please come inside! Come inside and join me for lunch!"

"We already ate lunch," Jerry protested.

"Oh, but I insist for early supper then!" said the voice and the camera zipped back into the doorframe before anything more could be said.

With a great creak, the massive doors lurched open just wide enough for the pair to enter.

" _Ack_!" cried the Big Cheese grabbing Jerry and plucking him of the ground to squeeze him tightly, and then Jerry let out a cry too, a cry for air.

After a moment or two of silence a figure appeared in the doorway. He was not much to look at save for the eagle glint in his eyes, and he smiled broadly with arms outstretched as though to embrace, but all he did was motion inside.

"Come," he said.

The Big Cheese glanced at Jerry. Jerry glanced at the Big Cheese. It seemed they had no choice but to enter, which they did after the Big Cheese plopped Jerry back on the ground. And of course, as they entered the great doors slammed shut behind them.

" _Ack_!" cried the Big Cheese again and this time grabbed their mysterious host by mistake.

"Put me down," said the stranger.

The Big Cheese did so with a weird toothy smile.

The stranger, straightening himself, then led them through the wide corridor away from the door.


	2. Tri-Cast

JMJ

CHAPTER TWO: TRI-CAST

The lights turned on at the motion of their approach, and the fox and the crow beheld a grand table set with a sumptuous feast. Although it is true that they had already eaten, it had only been a little fruit, the energy from which had already been spent from their climb up here. That, combined with the fact that they had not seen a table, much less anything on one in quite some time, would cause one to wonder little that they drooled at the sight of it.

The walls, floor and ceiling were completely white and bare. And the room was so clean and so shiny that it reflected the table in nearly every direction and their own forms as they walked weak-kneed toward it. They did not even care about their mysterious host's disturbing leer, but they did not have to worry about that much. There was not much meaning behind it, really. He was just a little mad from his years of isolation.

Thus for a time their host allowed the pair to eat in peace, which did not last long. They ate quite fast and greedily. Their host did not care about their manners, but contented himself with a glass of wine and a croissant. In fact as he watched the pair, he seemed more amused than anything else.

"I trust you enjoyed everything," said their host when they had finished.

"Oh, yes," they sighed leaning back in their steal seats with full stomachs. "Very much."

"Good," said their host clasping his hands together. "Very good. Every dish is of my own creation. My staff cooks it all, of course, but everything is one hundred percent grown and bred right here on the island or caught off shore."

"Yeah, that's all very impressive," muttered the Big Cheese. "But where are we?"

"On an island," said their host closing his eyes lightly. "I already explained that. It's an island of banishment. Why else do you think I've spent the last twenty-some years here?"

Jerry raised a brow. "With all your technology couldn't you just get off the island yourself?"

"What would be the point if I just got caught again?" asked their host. "I'm not going to gallivant off until I have a plan good enough to ensure my freedom indefinitely. I highly doubt there will be a chance for such a prison as this the next time I'm caught. They didn't know that there was ancient machinery buried in the caves here that I could manipulate to my advantage."

"So you're a criminal?" demanded the Big Cheese. "Jerry, I refuse to cohort with this man! I'm sick and tired of criminal company!"

"What do you want me to do about it?" grumbled Jerry with not a hint of sympathy. "You should have thought of that before you decided to become king of the underworld."

" _Hmph_!" snorted the Big Cheese, crossing his arms.

"King of the underworld?" demanded their host. " _Phew_ , twenty years changes more things than I thought."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" growled the Big Cheese dangerously. "Who are you, anyway? If you're such a great criminal how come I never heard of you? I wasn't exactly born yesterday, you know. Jerry!"

"Yes, Big Cheese," came the crow's patronizing response.

"How come you never heard of him?" demanded the Big Cheese.

"He hasn't even told us his name," said Jerry. "I can't keep track of everyone's face in the whole world. Even if I have heard of him it's been twenty years since he's been seen by anyone. People do change appearances in that amount of time."

"Dr. Purple, is my name," said Dr. Purple, "but that wasn't what I went by before my imprisonment."

"Then what did you go by before?" asked the Big Cheese curiously.

"I should be the one asking questions, you know," said Dr. Purple. "It is my island. 'What are you doing here?' I should be asking. Tell me _your_ story."

"Oh, very well," said the Big Cheese. "Go ahead Jerry, tell him."

Clearing his throat Jerry agreed. "Alright. _He_ used to be the ruler of the underworld. And he had the perfect cover up."

"The perfect cover up!" agreed the Big Cheese.

"He was the prime minster as well," said Jerry, "and had total access to everything in the palace and the court."

"Not to mention very rich and culturally influential!" added the Big Cheese. "Aside from my political office. I'm almost of noble lineage, and my father also served as prime minister quite well, so that my family had good reputation among the people even before I got my position. I brought all the more reputation to my position even if it was more for my hand on the cultural side of things."

"I see," said Dr. Purple in a manner that told that whether he saw or not he would rather not.

"At least … I did …"

"Calm yourself, Seymour, there's no use in getting all moody about it."

But again it was too late.

"Who's being moody!?" snarled the Big Cheese with a growl.

His head boiled red and before either of the wide-eyed figures of Jerry or Dr. Purple could say anything more the Big Cheese promptly exploded.

Luckily it was not quite as big as the explosions could be, and fortunately for Jerry he sat across from him rather than right next to him, and Dr. Purple sat at the table's end. The table suffered the loss, however, in the form of a great missing chunk right in front of the Big Cheese. The plates and cups and platters nearest him were blackened with soot.

"Oh," grumbled Jerry rubbing the side of his head.

"Not to worry," said Dr. Purple with a careless wave of his hand.

As he spoke, about half a dozen robots appeared from a chute in the floor. Quickly they floated to the damaged spot in the table, cleared the broken dishes and sealed the table with a new, freshly measured and cut piece of steal. They left as quickly as they had come, and everything was as it had been before the explosion, save for a little smoke rising out of the ears of the shaken head of the Big Cheese.

"Now, where were we?" asked Dr. Purple pouring the Big Cheese some wine with which to calm the nerves. "Oh, yes, you were the prime minister and the master of the underworld. Where was this now? And who's _he_ then?" He motioned to Jerry. "Your butler?"

Now it was Jerry's turn to get angry, but he did not quite get fired up enough to explode. With eyes blazing and teeth grinding he growled unable to speak.

"Nah," said the Big Cheese sipping quite happily. "He makes a terrible butler. I know. I've tried it. He's a ninja master who leads his ninja crows to do my bidding in all my underworld schemes."

"You mean _used_ to, don't you," grumbled Jerry who really did not feel like in the sharing mood anymore.

 _KA-BOOM!_

The table went black again and chunks again were missing. The robots came for the repairs just as before, but the Big Cheese was not yet finished.

"If it wasn't for that stupid princess getting all upset about the money—!"

"And the cats," Jerry reminded.

"OH! I hate those cats! I hate them! If it wasn't for them I never would have had to overspend!"

 _KA-BOOM!_

The robots came yet again to fix the damage.

"Does he do this frequently?" asked Dr. Purple with some annoyance.

"You have no idea," grumbled Jerry, rubbing his temple.

"Well, you didn't exactly help, Jerry! If your ninja crows weren't so lame maybe they could have defeated those dumb cats! Not even Bad Bird did any good! Or those stupid band guys, the Rude Noise. We wouldn't've needed those robots if your stupid crows didn't suck so bad!"

 _KA-BOOM!_

Dr. Purple's robots did not tire of their duty.

"I thought you _liked_ the robots!" said Jerry. "And don't bring my ninja into this."

"I DID like my robots!" snarled the Big Cheese. "Oh! I'm so mad, Jerry! I'm so mad I could just— _GRRRRR_!" He smacked his hands over the table and stood up with his chair flinging backwards behind him as he growled some more in Jerry's face.

Dr. Purple held up a platter to shield him against the blast.

 _KAAAAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_

" _Oh_ …" moaned Jerry, and he fell from his chair onto the floor.

"I told you I was mad," moaned the Big Cheese quite exhausted by this point.

"I have an excellent medical facility if you require it," said Dr. Purple placing his tray neatly back onto the table.

The robots arrived a final time to fix the damaged portion of the table.

"Uh … maybe later," muttered Jerry from the floor. "I'm used to this."

"It's his own fault," wined the Big Cheese.

#

"So it seems," said Dr. Purple later as he led his guests around his manor, "we both are out for vengeance of some sort. I'm glad. I was worried at first that you might be honest people — or worse! Ordinary people."

"Oh, I know _exactly_ what you mean," replied the Big Cheese with a haughty nod. "Peasants. _Pfft_."

"I seem to remember you now, I think," said Jerry.

"Oh, do you?" asked Dr. Purple.

"Yes, you were the scientist hired by the palace to install more reliable vid-phone use in the city and then used your money and five to six years of valuable time for cyber genetic research instead." 

"I still advanced the vid-phone technology on the side," snorted Dr. Purple.

"You mean that geeky guy with the glasses that used to wander around on the palace grounds with a magnifying glass?" demanded the Big Cheese looking quite unimpressed. "Yeah. I remember you. That was a while before I met Jerry."

" _Hmph_!" snorted Dr. Purple. "I've replaced my eye balls since then."

"Really? They look normal to me," muttered the Big Cheese.

Dr. Purple nodded. " _And_ it was an X-Ray magnifying glass of my own invention that could see straight through a person's skull. It was _I_ who unbeknownst to everyone to this day caused the failure of the young emperor's dentist appointment. Plenty of people get their wisdom teeth pulled and nothing happens. He denied me advancement with my research … my rejuvenation project! What is the point of cyber genetic technology if we still all die just as soon as biologically normal as if we didn't have the technology at all?"

"I think he's crazy, Jerry," the Big Cheese whispered.

" _Shhh_!" hissed Jerry. "I'm listening."

"With my rejuvenation project everyone would have the chance to live forever! I was willing to guinea pig a taste of it myself. But it didn't matter! I'm banished now regardless, but I still got a taste of revenge on the emperor! Well! I was never just some geeky guy with glasses no more than you, I suppose, Mr. Cheese, were just an urchin who threw pebbles at the ornamental fish in those same palace gardens just to laugh maniacally at them as they scattered."

The Big Cheese made a face. "Yes. I was the picture of a gifted young prodigy."

"But I still don't understand," said Jerry ignoring the Big Cheese completely. "If you have all this power and all this technology, even more advanced than anything I've seen in Little Tokyo, why don't you take action? You must have thought of a million plans. Why stay here?"

"You see _this_?" asked Dr. Purple thrusting a finger to a window in the side of the corridor.

The Big Cheese and Jerry looked through the thick glass blocking the way of any easy entrance, but they could see a great bulk of metal the size of a skyscraper and shaped a little like an egg with a pointed top. They looked at each other and then back behind them at their host.

"That was one of my first plans that I succeeded in constructing after I found a way to harness technology again. That bomb could blow up the entire world."

Jerry smiled wryly as the Big Cheese glared at the bomb again skeptically.

"We've already tried that," said the Big Cheese simmering.

"Thus why I'm still here," said Dr. Purple. "And so I shall remain until the right moment has come."

"How do you know that the wind hasn't just changed now at our arrival?" asked Jerry.

"Well, I did just meet you," Dr. Purple retorted. "And none of us are exactly trustworthy. Oh, and don't try anything stupid, I've already put my robots on alert and will now obey nothing that you tell them to do except bring you the type of food you want at meal times and what color bed sheets you may want. They are programmed to fire on any suspicious activity or if anyone but me messes with any lever, button, or switch that you are not authorized to use."

"So we're your prisoners," said Jerry.

"No!" laughed Dr. Purple. "You're free to leave whenever you wish."

"You idiot! We can't leave! Our raft broke!" snarled the Big Cheese.

Jerry cleared his throat as interruption. "As— ahem, as you say, Dr. Purple, our motives are quite similar. We could use each other in … uh … completing our goals."

"You just want me to help you off the island," retorted Dr. Purple. "Then you'll tell everyone about me, and my secret will be gone."

"Oh, don't be so paranoid!" said the Big Cheese.

"But you would," said Dr. Purple.

The Big Cheese crossed his arms. "That's beside the point!"

"What do you have that you could possibly offer me in return for my services?" retorted Dr. Purple. "I have all the technology I could ever want."

"And yet here you remain," Jerry pointed out with some jest.

"You're scared!" declared the Big Cheese.

"I'm not!"

"Listen," said Jerry as candidly as possible. "How about you help us off the island, and in return we'll tell you what you're up against in Little Tokyo."

The Big Cheese graced Jerry with a horrible glower. "We will _not_!"

Jerry winked at him. " _Yes_ , we will," he said. "In exchange for getting us off, and," he placed his hands together, "we will work together. We know the city better than you do now, and we have eyes and ears, and you, as you have also said, have the technology that no one will be expecting. They think they've won, I'm certain of it!"

"I have my own ways of figuring stuff out," said Dr. Purple.

"But you won't know where to look," said Jerry. "We know about—"

The Big Cheese gasped and pushed Jerry out of the way with excitement: "The _cats_! You don't know anything about the Pizza Cats! Jerry, I just thought of something brilliant! We work together with Dr. Purple to stop the cats in a way they'll least expect it! We'll lie low here for a while and when we reemerge they'll be so used to the idea that they've won that they won't know what hit them before it's too late! It's just like a movie, except this time the bad guys win!"

And he laughed, rather maniacally it must be added. Leaping into air he began to use his tail like a helicopter for the first time in months. Hovering away he continued laughing with glee.

"Is he alright?" asked Dr. Purple with a raised brow.

Waving a hand aside Jerry shook his head. "No."

Dr. Purple shrugged. "Alright. It's a deal. Tell him that when he comes back. I'll take you back to Little Tokyo, and we'll work together to stop the cats but first … tell me everything. Tell me everything you know about these 'Pizza Cats.'"

"How do I know that you won't just take everything we'll have just told you and leave us here while you take on the cats yourself!" demanded Jerry thrusting a clawed finger into Dr. Purple's chest.

"What would be the fun in that? Besides, it's either that or try to build your raft without harming any of my good trees, and even if you accomplish that, you and your master are fugitives. You have nothing with which to fight back. You'll just end up banished, imprisoned, or possibly killed."

Jerry frowned. "Alright!" he said. "You want to know about cats? I'll give you cats! And he's not my master. I'll let you know that right now!"

"I'm liking this already," chuckled Dr. Purple. "Give me more."


	3. Three Years Later

JMJ

CHAPTER THREE: THREE YEARS LATER …

"No, it can't be true!" exclaimed Speedy clenching his fists together in dismay.

There was hardly a cloud in the sky. Not a giant robot had been heard along the streets of Little Tokyo in three years and three months. The last disaster had been the comet fiasco, and now there had been relative peace for the Pizza Cats and all the citizens aside from a few petty thefts and minor attacks. Mostly these were attempted by what remained of the ninja clan, but then they had not been unbeatable when they actually had leaders. Without Jerry and Bad Bird they were just a gang of punks, and that gang was still the worst of the enemies they had to scare off and barely touch. The Rescue Team was practically in early retirement. Nothing could possibly be wrong enough to warrant such a mournful outburst save perhaps that without anything to do aside from deliver pizzas and live daily life that poor Speedy had grown bored, nor could this fact come as a surprise knowing the extreme personality of Speedy.

"I'm afraid so," said Francine with a shrug.

"But what about eggos and pop tarts and crunchy peanut butter toasts?" cried Speedy.

"You could always have miso soup for breakfast like traditional people in Japan," said Francine. "You're not exactly getting any thinner, and there's nothing redeemable about high fructose corn syrup in eggos and pop tarts."

"You eat them too I've seen you!" said Speedy. He paused. "Am I really gaining weight?"

"Just a little," said Francine with another shrug.

"It's not bad enough that there's nothing to do around here anymore, but now there's nothing to eat around here either," moaned Speedy, and he leaned his elbow against the counter. Resting his head against his palm he let out a heavy sigh.

A playful smile appeared on Francine's face, and she wrapped her arms around her back. "Oh," she said knowingly. "You need something to do. Hmm." She held a finger to her chin in thought. "You know since it's a slow day today, I could use someone to clean out the bathroom stalls. They haven't been scrubbed in a while."

The fur on Speedy's body puffed out as though from the force of his bulging eye balls.

" _Nyah_! It's not like that, Francine!" he cried holding out his hands. "Honest. I just remembered I still have to do … uh … inventory. Yes! Inventory! Of all the toppings! I need to check those dates or who _knows_ what'll happen in the bathrooms!"

"Oh, that's okay, Speedy," said Francine. "That's _my_ job to make sure nothing's out of date."

"Oh!" exclaimed Speedy. "Well, you know it's been a long time since someone dusted the rafters on the second storey!"

Francine's smile grew wider and ever more wry. Although someone could clean the bathrooms all she really wanted was for Speedy to stop moping.

"Oh, and those dishes! They need to be more properly arranged for the dinner rush so we can take them out as fast as possible! Or how 'bout the grounds. Got to sweep up and all that!"

"Well, Speedy, it looks like you have a lot to do, after all," said Francine cheerily as she began to bob away. "Better get to it."

" _Mheh_ …" Speedy moaned, but as no one came to force him right away to get to work all he did was lean on his palm again against the counter and let out another heavier sigh than before.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," he muttered although Francine was long gone about a stray customer. "At least yesterday we had a good delivery day, but today? The toaster's busted, and I gotta do a bunch of boring extra jobs and maybe clean the bathroom. Could things get any worse?"

"Cheer up, Speedy," said Polly then with a sniff just appearing onto the scene. She grabbed a box of pop tarts from a shelf and ripped open the packaging. "You should be happy that nothing bad's been happening."

"Yeah," muttered Guido who had been all this time reading through a newspaper. "You know what they say, 'Careful what you wish for'."

"Who says that?" asked Speedy. "I'm not wishing for the Big Cheese to come back or anything … I just … I'm not _un_ happy. It's just—"

"Hey!" cried Polly pushing down the lever on the toaster over and over as fast as she could. "Why isn't the toaster working!?"

"It's busted," said Guido. "That's what Speedy's upset about."

"Well, then we'll have to get a new one!" Polly declared. "Are there any appliance sales in there?!" She rushed to look over Guido's shoulder.

"Hey," said Guido steadying himself. "No, there's no sale on appliances, but there's this. This looks different."

Polly read it, "'The Plum Good Fix: I fix anything in less than a half hour or my wallet.' It says it's located on the edge of town near the docks."

"Hey! That _does_ sound good!" exclaimed Speedy pounding a fist into his palm suddenly in much better spirits. "At least if he can't fix it we'll get plenty of money to buy a new one."

Guido laughed. "That doesn't mean that he has much _in_ his wallet, you know. It might be just a gag."

"It's worth a shot!" said Polly. "Besides I never heard of this guy before."

"What? Are you suspicious, Polly?" said Speedy with a grin.

"No," Polly retorted crossing her arms.

"You're the only one who's suspicious, Speedy," said Guido plopping down his paper.

"Oh, yeah?" challenged Speedy.

"Yeah, come on, get the toaster."

"And get back before eleven!" called Francine. "We'll need you for lunch!"

The boys promised they would as they zipped out the back.

"It would be kinda cool if it was some kind of cover up," sighed Polly leaning against the counter dreamily now in a similar fashion to how Speedy had been.

Francine poked in a smiling face. "Careful what you wish for, Polly. Besides if you have nothing to do there are the restrooms that need to be _covered up_ in cleaner and—"

"That's not funny," Polly interrupted.

"Then in all seriousness, why don't you get Speedy to settle on a date for the wedding. It's been three years, after all."

For the most part unmoved, Polly leered at Francine with a pout. "That's none of your business."

"Alright, but you're letting a little too much time slide, don't you think?" asked Francine.  
"Do you love him or not?"

Leaping upright and bright red with embarrassment Polly gasped. "I — I do! But he hasn't said anything about marriage! The guys are the ones who are supposed to bring it up! And he's … going through … super hero withdrawal right now!" And she slumped back against the counter with a huff. "I wish a little something bad _would_ happen even if just to snap him out of it! Nothing big, just a little tousle, but something bigger than what's left of the Ninja Crows trying to rob a post office for birthday money."

Francine looked upon her friend with pity. "Still … it wouldn't be a good thing. We haven't had a real fight in so long I don't think we'd be ready for it." And she began to wipe the counter with a wet rag and some soap. "And that time they actually got away with some of that birthday money, you know."

#

"It doesn't look like much," said Speedy with a shrug as he gazed up at the purple neon "open" sign in the window.

Above the awning was written the ridiculous name of "The Plum Good Fix" also in purple, and below it in blackish purple read just as the newspaper had: "I fix anything in less than a half hour or my wallet".

"Well, at least it got us out of the restaurant," said Guido.

"And not on a delivery to Princess Vi," agreed Speedy with a grin. "Now that's a mess that no plum can fix."

Guido did not look all too amused, but after a strange glance he led the way inside, and the shop bells jingled to announce their entrance.

"Good morning, gentlemen!" exclaimed a cheerful but sophisticated voice from behind the counter, the owner of both voice and counter leaping out onto the floor with arms outstretched as wide as his goofy grin.

He looked more like a quack than his sophisticated voice let on although he had no relation to water fowl as happened to be a hawk. A pair of goggling glasses made him look more ridiculous still, and the sleeves of his white coat had to be rolled up into great bunches or else they would have likely dripped over the floor. He also had a pair of loafers over his taloned feet.

"Uh, good morning," said Guido giving Speedy a raised brow as if to say that he doubted this guy would be able to do much else aside from bust a few spark plugs.

"Can you fix our toaster?" Speedy demanded.

Crossing his arms sharply over his chest, the owner frowned as if deeply confused. "Did you read the sign?"

"Yes," said Speedy.

"Don't you believe that if I make a claim like that and couldn't live up to it I would be penniless by now and without a wallet?" asked the owner lifting a pretty hefty looking wallet from the pocket of his coat.

"You have a point," admitted Guido.

"Then have no worries!" exclaimed the owner snatched the toaster away so fast that Speedy gave a small cry of surprise. "I'll have it fixed before the next Pokémon episode ends."

"Is that a half hour?" asked Speedy.

"Twenty-one minutes to fit in the commercials," said the owner, and leaping round the counter he pushed down a button on a timer that began at exactly twenty-one minutes and counted down. "Sit tight and watch!" he called pointing to a television screen hanging down from one of the walls.

Shrugging the pair then sat down in a pair of tacky fake leather seats near four or five other chairs already occupied. They looked up at the screen across from them. It was smudged on one side, which was a little distracting, but they did not watch too closely.

"I stopped watching Pokémon after the first season of Black and White," said Speedy with a sigh.

" _Pfft_ , I stopped watching after they changed their dub voices in Hoenn," said Guido.

Speedy made a face.

The owner meanwhile had zipped out of sight right through his workshop door and slammed it shut behind him. Once behind the door, the owner threw off his glasses and grinned a vile sort of grin. Strolling along with the toaster to another door with a hand-print entry lock, he entered into a vast underground laboratory down a flight of steps. He flew down the steps over the rail, and leaning back in an arm chair grabbed a screw driver from a table and began to unscrew the toaster.

"I could just trick everyone out of their money in the whole town and get revenge just as easily as crushing it down with a giant robot," laughed Dr. Purple. "The newspaper was hardly printed yesterday and nearly the whole town has come to my door already." (I forgot to mention the vast line that Guido and Speedy had to wait for to get into this place.)

"What would be the fun in that?" asked the Big Cheese. "I want explosions! Action! Fighting! Not me, of course, but robots and ninja crows verses Samurai Pizza Cats!" and the Big Cheese laughed. "I'm gunna go and check things out on the east side of town. I already checked the west last night. By the way what do you think of my disguise?"

Without looking up from his work Dr. Purple began to say, "It looks fi—" But he stopped quite abruptly as he took note in a flash of a pink and green shimmer in the direction of the Big Cheese's voice. Lifting his head he cringed as the street fashion girly outfit which happened to cover the Big Cheese's body.

" _Nnnggh_!" cried Dr. Purple and dropped a screw on the floor.

"Glad you think so," said the Big Cheese. "Well, see ya!" And with that he spun around for the secret back entrance of the lab.

" _Ug_! He's starting to give me the creeps your master."

"I told you," said Jerry with sniff. "He's not my master. _I'm_ the master of a ninja clan, and right now if we're going to put this plan of ours into action I'm going to get Bad Bird and the other Ninja Crows prepared as quickly as possible. I hope they haven't become lax in my absence, but Bad Bird should have kept them in line until now. Hopefully they've been training with three years of not having a robot to build."

"Go ahead," said Dr. Purple with a shrug. "There's really no rush, though. No one suspects a thing. They think they've won. The whole city thinks they've won."

Jerry frowned. "The Big Cheese gets impatient. I don't want him to do anything stupid before its time."

"I heard that!"

#

"Well," said Speedy with a yawn, "it had nothing to do with their voices, it just kinda got to be one too many seasons for me, but I do have a theory."

"About what?" asked Guido throwing his arms leisurely behind his head.

"Team Rocket after Sinnoh."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah," said Speedy. "I think old Giovanni replaced Jessie, James, and Meowth with robots after he fired them in the last episode in Sinnoh."

"I thought they didn't come down from orbit after blasting off in the last episode of Sinnoh."

"Well, whatever," said Speedy. "Besides _I_ thought you didn't watch after they changed their voices."

"I glanced over your shoulder when you were watching them on YouTube," said Guido with a yawn.

" _Hrmph_ ," grumbled Speedy crossing his arms. "Well, anyway. I think Giovanni made robot replacements of them, and that's why they're completely different."

"I think that little girl is a robot that that smart kid made and went wrong," said Guido pointing the newer characters to the show on screen.

Speedy laughed. "Agreed! Of course, it might be just that we think of everything in robots with all those robots we had to fight for so long."

"Well, you know what I really think?" asked Guido.

"What?" asked Speedy.

"I think Pikachu has to retire," said Guido crossing his arms. "He lost against a first evolution water type. Age must be catching up with him."

"He needs a robot replacement more than Team Rocket," laughed Speedy, and he paused musing a bit. "Although … he does look pretty good for his age."

"It's done!"

Speedy and Guido spun around.

"It's barely been ten minutes," said Guido in surprise.

The owner laughed as he set the toaster on his counter. "Well, that's why I'm the best." He took a slice of bread from seemingly out of nowhere and pushing the lever down on the toaster he dropped it inside. "I even adjusted the temperature dials so that its perfectly set from 'warmed' 'lightly toasted' 'good and dark', and 'charcoal'."

"That was starting to become unpredictable, thanks!" exclaimed Speedy leaping toward the counter as the slice of bread came up at 'warmed' and it looked perfect. "How much?"

"That'll be …" said the owner scratching his chin. "Three hundred dollars even."

Thunder crashed.

"THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!?"

"That's robbery!" cried Guido.

"We could buy seventeen toasters for that much!" exclaimed Speedy.

"We're not paying that!"

"Yeah! No way! Twenty bucks, maybe!"

"Not even that!" said Guido. "$11.95."

The owner closed his eyes. "Didn't you read my sign on the door?"

"What sign on the door!?" growled Speedy.

"The sign that listed all my prices," retorted the owner, and stepping out from behind his counter he promptly opened the front door. "See?"

He pointed to the prices.

Hurrying over the cats studied the prices, and it was true! Right on the door. Right smack dab where everyone could see. Didn't anyone else see it either? Small household appliance fix (any problem) for exactly three hundred dollars, and the prices went up from there.

The cats moaned.

"I've done nothing illegal," said the owner. "It's not my fault you can't see what's right in front of your face."

Part of Speedy and Guido wanted for nothing better than to punch the owner's lights out, but aside from the fact that he may press charges for such an act, they were, after all good guys, and although this mechanic may have ridiculous prices there truly was nothing illegal about his doings.

 _Oh, does it have to be so tough being a good guy?_ thought Speedy with a moan. 


	4. Some Change is Good

JMJ

CHAPTER FOUR: SOME CHANGE IS GOOD

They weren't at the usual hideout. Of course, that had easy access to the palace, and without the Big Cheese living there as prime minster it would be more of a detriment than a help to linger there. He tried a few others. A lab. An old abandoned warehouse. All the old haunts. The Ninja Crows were nowhere to be found, and Jerry was beginning to wonder if they had all gone back to the ninja village.

It seemed the most likely place after he thought of it. Bad Bird would have had them withdraw from the city to train and wait. Maybe they thought Jerry dead, but either way with Bad Bird in charge there would be little funny business most of the time.

He had not brought anything with him for the trek through the woods to get there by himself, but just as he was turning around for the city again to get something to eat, he paused suddenly and turned back the way he had been going. His purpose was not in going further toward the village, but he thought for certain that in this back street on the edge of town, he had seen a shadow that had looked vigilant before it had swept away. Holding his cane out in case he may have to use it (he hoped it would not come to that as his confrontation abilities in physical combat were not what they used to be), he shifted his eyes left and right. Though he saw nothing, his ninja senses told him that someone was nearby and moving with purpose towards him.

A flash of wing, as small and insignificant as it was, lowered his need for defense.

It was only a crow, and one of the many he knew as his subordinates.

"Master Jerry!" cried the little crow with a funny little voice. He landed and bowed before him on his knees with all humility. "It _is_ you! The clan will be so happy to hear that you're back! Oh, we had given you up for dead."

"As I thought," muttered Jerry. "Get up. You're in the middle of the road."

The crow obeyed, but still had his head bowed a little.

"Where are you all staying now?" Jerry demanded, his voice lowered, and his eyes careful for any unwanted spectators. "Where's Bad Bird? I want to talk to him as soon as possible."

The only sounds of people here was a vacuum cleaner in the house nearest them. At least this muffled their speaking. As he returned to the sight of the rather sheepish looking crow, he raised a skeptical brow.

"Come on, you must be staying _some_ where!" Jerry hissed.

"Oh, we're staying at the village mostly," said the crow brightening a little, or maybe it was nervous tension, "but some of us are posted around here on the edge of the city to keep an eye on things. I'll give the signal and show you where our new hideout is around here, Master Jerry."

Flying up into a tree then, the little crow cried as loud as he could, "Old phonebooks for sale!"

Then he flew back down and led Jerry quite happily into the wood.

"Old phonebooks?" asked Jerry.

"Well, we had to think of a signal that no one else would come to," explained the crow. "We had a moose call for a while, but even though there shouldn't be any moose around here some must have escaped from a zoo or something because they kept coming and trampling everywhere and attracting people who had never seen a moose to investigate before their keepers came. Then those Pizza Cats came and thought we were stealing the moose. Oh! It was a mess, Master Jerry. But ever since we used our new signal no one's come. In fact sometimes people run away."

Jerry frowned, but he said nothing more until they reached a fairly well-hidden tree house. Here, of course, Jerry proved that he could fly a little distance. No one but birds could get to it easily, for there was neither ladder nor very accessible branches toward the bottom of the tree in which the house was hidden with moss and leaves cleverly positioned.

This place looked to be Bad Bird's doing at least. Jerry smiled with satisfaction at this thought, and for a moment he felt proud of his clan. He had not over-credited them, after all.

The six or seven other crows positioned in this area all few back within the next few moment as Jerry looked inside the simple, but clean interior of the small structure. There was a low table surrounded by cushions, some rolled up mats for sleeping in at night, and a very nice refrigerator that was solar powered by a panel on the roof as the crows explained to Jerry.

There was still no sign of Bad Bird, but the head of the little band here, told one of the other crows to go back to the village to announce Jerry's return. Then the rest of the crows all hurried to make Jerry comfortable. They made him some tea in a little chimney, and gave him plenty to eat from their fridge. Jerry allowed their devoted behavior for now as he was quite hungry, and he missed having his own clan taking care of things rather than Dr. Purple's robots.

When at last he had eaten his fill and was on his last cup of tea, the rest of the clan showed up at the tree. Most could not fit inside, but they were satisfied to sit around in the branches outside. The windows of the little hideout were opened, and everyone was able to get in on the situation. It seemed the best situation in three years, and Jerry felt quite the celebrity despite the fact that it was only his own clan doing the celebrating.

"You don't know how much we missed you, Master Jerry!" "Everything will be better now that _you're_ here again!" "You don't know what it was like without you!" "Have an after-meal ginger candy, Master Jerry!" And so they went on in their merriment.

However, everything changed as he looked around once more, cozy with a full stomach and sipping his tea, for it was then that he asked, "Okay now. Where's Bad Bird? I want to talk to him."

Dead silence fell upon the once jubilant crows. Not a caw could be heard among them.

Jerry stiffened in alarm. "Don't tell me he's dead! Was it the cats!?"

"No, no, Master Jerry," said a crow by name of Nick that had been shoved most unwillingly toward Jerry by his fellows. He had been the one in charge since Bad Bird and Jerry left as he was the closest relation to Jerry and Bad Bird. "It's not that."

"Then what?" demanded Jerry.

"Well, he …"

"Yes? Spit it out? He started his own stupid band like Bad Max?!"

The little crow shuddered and fell flat on his face before Jerry. "No, master, it is so far more shameful than that that we dare not speak of it."

Jerry stood up angrily. "I demand to know!"

"He quit the ninja clan and never returned," gasped Nick shivering with sweat spraying from his face.

"What do you mean he quit?" demanded Jerry. "Where did he go? Did he leave for Mongolia or something?"

"No, he's still in the city. It's not like that at all. He quit being a ninja altogether. He's disgraced us!"

And now the others joined in.

"After the comet, he didn't come back!" "He's married to Carla." "He owns a restaurant." "A _pizza_ restaurant!" "He's gone straight, Master Jerry." "The cats were at his wedding." "He didn't invite us!" "We don't know him anymore!" "He volunteers in the city when business is down." "He LIKES helping people!" "But we tried to keep up the clan!" "Honest we did!" "Under Nick." "Yes, Nick." "Yes, I've been doing my best." "We fight the cats sometimes." "We got away with that birthday money from the post office." "Right! And spruced up the village a bit and bought that refrigerator." "Yes!" "We've been doing the best we can without Bad—"

"Enough!" snapped Jerry.

Everyone stopped and shuddered, and Jerry knelt back down on his cushion as he tried to digest what had just been told to him. Not all the details, just the fact that Bad Bird had betrayed the clan and was married was almost too much to take in at once, and rubbing his head as though in pain he let out a growl before placing his hands calmly upon the table.

"Well," he said after a time and clasping those hands together. "Tell me then, crows, as honorable ninja why did you not act according to tradition and do what ninjas do when they are betrayed?"

"Master … ?" asked Nick after another pause.

"Why didn't you sneak up on him in the middle of the night and stab out his perfidious, traitorous, double-crossing heart!?" Jerry demanded.

The crows let out cries of surprise at his sudden burst of rage, and from his use of the word "perfidious", which most of them did not know the meaning of.

"Oh, but we couldn't!" they told him beseechingly. "We couldn't kill Bad Bird!" "We didn't even try!" "We didn't have the heart." "He's our brother!" "Our commander!"

"Idiots!" said Jerry. "Weaklings! You're all sorry excuses for ninja! In times of old you all would have been slaughtered without a thought!"

The crows shuddered.

"Forgive us, Master Jerry!" Nick said, and they all bowed before their master in fright and dismay.

"All of you just knock it off! Quit groveling!"

They tried to, but though they stopped quivering they still looked quite fearful and guilty like a gathering of naughty puppies caught in the act.

"It wouldn't've mattered anyway," Jerry muttered with a sigh more to himself than the underlings. "Bad Bird was better than all of you put together and could have defeated every last one of you before he had so much as a scratch."

"Do you want me to sob and punish myself for it, Master?" asked Nick.

Jerry glowered with annoyance. "Yes, you do that for a few hours," he said sarcastically.

Tears welling in Nick's eyes as he backed up into a corner and began to sob punishing himself as he had suggested.

With a roll of his eyes, Jerry sipped to the bottom of his cup. "Where is Bad Bird now?" he demanded.

"At his restaurant probably, Master Jerry," said one of the other crows.

"Do you know where it is?"

"Oh, yes, very well," said that same crow, the one who had found him on the edge of town. He paused. "Are you going to kill him?"

"I don't know yet," said Jerry.

 _Besides,_ he thought, _even if I wanted to, Bad Bird would most likely defeat me too unless I poisoned him very cleverly. I taught him everything I know, and he's at the prime of his life unlike me, I hate to admit. He's changed sides, but he doesn't have amnesia, after all. He's still inside the best ninja of the Flying Skulls._

So, since his tea cup was empty and he felt no need to rest or eat any longer, he picked himself up and decided to make for the restaurant with the aid of his still loyal crows. And they took him to a restaurant in the middle of Little Tokyo.

It was tall with a nice lot, had flashing neon and a tower on the top.

"Pizza Cats!" gasped Jerry in disbelief as he read the sign. "He works at a place called 'Pizza Cats'!"

"Oh, no, Master Jerry, he works at the one across the street," said the two crows who had accompanied him.

Jerry glanced at the place the pointed out, and he frowned. At least it wasn't called anything that had to do with cats, but it was not much better. A pizzeria was a pizzeria. He squinted at the smell of pizza emanating from both sides of the street as he tried to see if he could spot Bad Bird through the windows of his restaurant. He could see no one at the moment except a couple of eleven o'clock eaters making their way inside.

Like the restaurant behind Jerry it did not open until eleven either. (If you want pizza for breakfast you can freeze it yourself for the next morning.)

" _Hmm_ ," said Jerry. "Fly out of sight. I'll look into this myself from here on in."

"Yes, sir," said the crows as they obeyed the command.

And with that Jerry began leisurely to cross the street. He was in disguise with a traveling hat and simple clothes. No one would notice him as anything other than some poor old man with a stoop, which he exaggerated for show as he walked along with more help of his cane than he needed in reality.

Some passerby came his way, and he barely looked up to see his face. His mind was more interested in their pockets, which he slipped his hand into with relative ease. Yes, he knew how to pickpocket when he had to, and he had no money at the moment. He had the wallet in his claws within seconds and its original owner kept going unaware.

Glancing over his shoulder a second just to make sure, Jerry then turned his attention to the wallet as he continued walking. He opened it up and saw to his disappointment that not much was inside.

" _Hmph_ ," he grumbled, but he had barely gone another step before he ran completely into another person who had suddenly shouted, "Wait up!" to the one who had just crossed before him.

So much for ninja stealth.

" _Ack_!" cried the one who had run into Jerry. "Sorry, sir, I didn't mean to run into you! It's just been a rough kind of day, y'know?"

Slipping the wallet away in a hurry, Jerry waved his hand aside.

"Yes, yes, I know. It's fine, it's fine," he said from beneath his hat, and he waved his hand aside.

"Are you sure?" asked the other, a cat no less, much to Jerry's distaste. He picked up Jerry's cane and gave it him. "You're not hurt? You're not mad? Everything alright? You didn't drop anything else?"

Jerry swiped the cane away. "No, thank you!" growled Jerry. "Now please be on your way. I'm _fine_!"

"Okay, okay," said the cat and he hurried away, calling again, "Hey, Guido! Wait up!"

 _Guido_?!

Once more Jerry stopped and watched the cat catch the other.

 _No. It couldn't be them_ , thought Jerry. _It would be too obvious …_

And yet …

He shrugged, and reached the other side of the street at last with his mind again only on Bad Bird and his restaurant.

#

Speedy sighed. "Francine's not gunna like this."

" _I_ don't like this," grumbled Guido shoving hands into pockets that he suddenly had.

Just as Guido and Speedy reached the door, Guido suddenly stopped.

"What?" asked Speedy.

"My wallet!" gasped Guido. "It's gone!"

"Gone?"

"That creepy little hawk must've stolen it! Wasn't three hundred dollars enough for him!" said Guido staunchly. "Now we have a reason to bust him, at least!" He held up a fist to show he meant business.

"No, no, wait, Guido!" said Speedy. "You had it when we were on our way back. I saw you see what was left. Besides I think I know what happened to it."

"You do?" said Guido raising a skeptical brow, and he crossed his arms impatiently.

"Yeah, that old guy had a wallet that looked just like yours," said Speedy. "He was right …"

Speedy pointed, but what he pointed to no longer existed. The old man was nowhere in sight. Turning from left to right and up and down, Speedy thought that he might as well have vanished away into thin air.

"There," finished Speedy regardless, and he put his hand down. " _Hmm_ , where'd he go? Well … at least all that was in it was a few bucks. At least we don't have to carry IDs in Little Tokyo. You don't have a credit card, do you?"

"He stole my wallet! I don't care what's in it! He stole it!" snapped Guido. "Can this day get any worse?! Come on! Let's go find him!"

"But what about work?" asked Speedy. "Francine will be mad enough as it is, and if we're late Polly and Francine _both_ will be mad."

The door suddenly opened.

"You're a few minutes late already," said Francine cheerfully as she poked her head out the door, "but if you come in right now, we'll forgive you. Besides, it looks like the toaster's all fixed up. Why the long faces?"

Speedy and Guido sighed.

#

Across the street in a very similar sort of restaurant because it too served pizza but for some reason did not ruin too much business for the Pizza Cats, was a less melodramatic setting of a very contented, reformed Bad Bird.

Business was good, life calm. He could have used a few more people to work at rush hour, but otherwise he could not complain. Sometimes he did hire a couple other people living nearby when things got too hectic. But right now he really could not be bogged down by anything. He had a perfect little home upstairs. No Big Cheese. No Jerry. Only a sweet little wife and he had just recently, just last week in fact, became the official father of four beautiful eggs.

And he had a new name too to fit his new life. Originally the cats were starting to call him "Good bird" for lack of anything better at the time, but when Carla went through the baby name book for their children, she came up with the brilliant idea of using one of the names for him since he told her that his official name could not be "Birdy" however much he did not mind if she called him that.

Bad Bird heartily chose for himself the name of "Nobu". It was something Japanese. It was Japan, after all, even if a chibified anthromorphic version of it. There should be more people with Japanese names. The cats were still getting used to the name, and sometimes called him something "Bird" instead. He did not care so long as he had a name he could fall back on, and "Nobu" was clean, solid, and unique enough in the city of Little Tokyo that he felt quite pleased with it.

Right now Bad Bird, or Nobu, smiled as he stood in the doorway where he watched Carla sing softly to the little eggs in their cradle-nest.

Oh, he was beside himself, simply beside himself, in the best possible way. He could not see the little ones yet, but he felt such an honor to have such a wonderful life, and he knew that once the eggs hatched he would have an even more wonderful family life.

"I'll be down soon, Birdy, I promise," she cooed still with eyes on the eggs.

"Oh, no, come when you can," said Nobu. "I was just seeing how you were. I just opened up. I only hope the new recruits work out. I got them started downstairs."

"Oh, don't worry, Birdy," said Carla. "I'm sure they'll be just fine. Don't be so hard on them. They're only sixteen."

There were only two. They couldn't afford to hire more workers than that, but he had to do something about the staff issues there.

Carla had to stay with the eggs most of the time. Sure they did not need to physically do a whole lot except make sure their heated cradle was at a good temperature and turn them every now and then, but the chicks inside the eggs needed to hear their mother's voice. She could bring them down with her in a pack on her back, which she often did, but it would not be too long before they would, as hatchlings, need her constant attention.

Nobu smiled, and without a word slipped down the steps with as light a step as ever he had.

The juggling of work and parenthood did not worry him, for two reasons. One, he did not quite understand how much work four babies at a time are. Two, when the children grew older they would help with the restaurant, and Nobu would have a real family business.

It was not an overly-busy opening, which was good, but enough to show that work was off to a good start. The young pig and duck seemed to be doing all right; the pig in the kitchen and the duck as a waitress to the gathering of four at a table by the window. Another pair at a table nearby were already eating their pizza, and as he reserved deliveries for himself because he liked to go out and about (and yes, admittedly sometimes to try to outdo Speedy in a friendly sort of rivalry — he couldn't help himself), he made his way over to where the orders were usually collected. There was only one at the moment, and the pizza for it was not yet finished.

He glanced at the duck suspiciously, for it was possible that she forgot to answer a phone call, but he let it be for now. His attention was drawn instead to the old man who had just entered the pizzeria.

The old traveler looked tired as he leaned heavily upon his cane, and he a little irritated besides. He sat himself wearily down at a table near the door and said nothing, waiting patiently to be noticed. Good thing Nobu was observant.

"Can I get you something, sir?" asked Nobu. "Tea? Coffee? Soda? I'll get the menu for our different pizza specialties, and we have breadsticks of five and half varieties. Sauce dishes to dip in come complementary."

"Just tea, thank you," muttered the old man in a fashion that imitated Gandalf in the _Lord of the Rings_ films.

"Yes, sir," said Nobu. "China Oolong or fresh matcha?"

"Matcha, thank you," muttered the old man.

"Matcha it is, sir," said Nobu. "And if you do happen to need anything else, don't hesitate to say so. There's a desert menu too. We just added chocolate fudge Sunday to it."

"I'll keep it in mind," said the old man. "But I'm in a bit of a hurry and will probably only have time for tea." 

"Very good, sir," Nobu said departing with a bow, and as he withdrew he caught the duck waitress. "Matcha for the gentleman at the door, Lilly."

The duck nodded readily to do as she was told. "Oh, and Willy just finished the pizza for the delivery."

"Oh, good," said Nobu, and taking the basket from the counter he said, "If Carla comes down, tell her I went on a long one." The delivery was for far out, which he did not mind in the least.

He did not hear the old man mutter something disagreeable under his breath as Lilly poured him his tea. Nor did he take great note in the way the old man eyed him suspiciously from under his hat. Nobu was in work mode. No suspicions crossed his mind. But there was no excuse for his not noticing the sudden decision of the old man to move his cane right in Nobu's path as he passed by the table.

" _Krra-a-w_!" cried Nobu, and he tripped right over it falling flat on his face.

The pizza spattered out of the basket and onto the floor.

Anger flared. He still had a temper. It was not a thing he had quite conquered. Up on his feet in a moment he turned around and instantly saw what he had tripped over. His eyes flashed without warning onto the old man glancing innocently out from under his hat.

"Oh, are you alright, I'm sorry," said the old man placidly.

A low growl formed, but Nobu stifled it. Straightening himself with a sniff, he retorted that yes, he was just fine.

The pizza wasn't though.

"Now their pizza will be late," he grumbled to Willy as he picked up the sloppy mess of what remained of a once perfectly good pizza.

When everything had been cleared up, Nobu could not help but notice that not only had the old man left, which in itself was just fine. There was something about him that he had not liked much, and he had not even left a tip.


	5. The Same Old Plot

JMJ

CHAPTER FIVE: THE SAME OLD PLOT

 _Ka—boom!_

"There's a cat living in my apartments!" moaned the Big Cheese rubbing his head aching terribly from the explosion, but the explosion had done little to satiate his passionate emotions. "Oh, how can it get any worse!? To think that all that time I spent on that stupid island some _cat_ had been made prime minister in my place! They didn't even bother to ask the rest of the family …"

"Oh!" He threw an arm over his face after the manner of a stereotypical drama pose. After sucking in a deep harrowing breath as though his lungs struggled to support his body weakened from horror he collapsed onto his knees with a childish sulk. Smoke still rose from his head; though it was dissipating quickly. Tears began to waver in his eyes squelching the heat of his rage into self pity.

The hawk stood alone in the laboratory with the miserable fox. Brushing rubble from his shoulder, he looked down at the blubbering creature without a hint of sympathy. His robots behind him were mending the damage the explosion had done to the lab. Dr. Purple himself looked a little harmed, all black with ash and eyes having gone a little pink with irritation.

"A cat has never been the prime minister until now," sighed the Big Cheese. "The position has been in _my_ family for six generations. My great, great, great grandfather practically invented the position! And now … it's like they forgot all about me. _Me_! Seymour Cheese!"

"Well, you knew that bribing to get a cheese out of a ninja crow's mouth to sing for you would have gotten you into trouble one day," muttered Dr. Purple.

The Big Cheese growled as he turned glowing red eyes to the hawk.

"What are you talking about!?" snapped the fox. "Crows sing terrible!"

"Aesop," said Dr. Purple placidly with a shrug, "but never mind that. The crow's the one that lost out in the end, and anyway! Don't let your mind linger on the past … think of the future. A bright and glorious future where vengeance is just around the corner."

The Big Cheese sniffled a little and lowered his snout back toward the floor.

"You _do_ have a way with words," muttered the Big Cheese, "but nothing's going to cheer me up about this. I wish Jerry was here so I could go yell at him."

"Whatever for?" asked Dr. Purple with a sniff. "It's not like that old pile of feathers will do anything about it."

"Aren't _you_ a big old pile of feathers?" demanded the Big Cheese crossing his arms; and despite what he said about not feeling any better he sat up now rather recovered.

The back door slammed open shortly after this. Jerry appeared in the flesh looking at least five or ten years older than when he had left that morning. He leered angrily from beneath his thick brows first at Dr. Purple than disdainfully at the Big Cheese.

" _Ug_! Take that off," he growled noticing that the Big Cheese still wore his street disguise.

"Oh, fine …" the Big Cheese grumbled picking himself up off the ground and heading for the bathroom.

"So?" asked Dr. Purple as if he noticed nothing unusually about Jerry's entrance, nor how he slammed the door behind him as he marched further in. "Are your ninja prepared?"

"As prepared as they can be," grumbled Jerry with a hiss.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the Big Cheese demanded yelling from the bathroom. "Are they in worse condition than before? I thought you said that they would be training all this time under Bad Bird because—"

"Bad Bird's gone missing!" snapped Jerry harshly.

"Oh, well, that's too bad," muttered Dr. Purple. "Sounds like things have changed a lot since your absence. You might not be that much help to me after all."

"Hey! It's too late to back out of our agreement now!" shouted the Big Cheese leaping out of the bathroom (in his usual clothes) with a finger thrust toward Dr. Purple. "Bad Bird disappears all the time anyway. He's always been moody like that. You're gunna send out that robot and that's final! I wanna drive."

"It's mine!" retorted Dr. Purple. "Besides, you'll have your turn. You two are going to be the ones to finish the cats off."

"Including the one that stole my position!" snapped the Big Cheese, and throwing his head in Jerry's face he yelled even louder, "THEY MADE A CAT THE PRIME MINISTER!"

Wincing from the volume and the bit of spittle that sprinkled his face, Jerry backed away a pace or two.

" _Ouff_! That must hurt, Seymour. That must hurt a lot."

"Believe me it does," sighed the Big Cheese. "Now I really _do_ have nothing left but the cheese in a crow's mouth."

"Say _what_?"

"Aesop," muttered the Big Cheese. "You wouldn't understand."

Dr. Purple grinned strangely, and Jerry frowned.

"Well, I'll find him," said Jerry. "There's no question about that."

"Who?" asked the Big Cheese absently.

"Bad Bird. Who else?"

"It doesn't really matter though," said Dr. Purple. "The initial part of the plan can go on quite well without your ninja. In fact it's very possible that we won't need them at all before this is done."

Jerry crossed his arms. "In my experience with the cats there's no such thing as too much help."

"Yeah," said Seymour. "What makes you think that this one robot will defeat the cats any better than ours have? Its quantity not quality that we're going for. They can't defeat the whole world!"

"Exactly," said Dr. Purple. "Except … my robots are quite top quality."

"Don't be so vain," muttered the Big Cheese.

"Hmm, well," said Dr. Purple, "I don't have to wait for laborers who eat, sleep, and complain. I'll have a new robot up and running so that the Samurai Pizza Cats won't have time to recover from the first battle."

"It's such a brilliant plan!" exclaimed the Big Cheese clasping his hands together with glee. "Good thing I thought of it."

Dr. Purple opened his mouth to speak, but Jerry cut him off.

"It's not worth it," he muttered.

"He's crazy," whispered Dr. Purple.

"Why do you think in Japanese his name means 'retarded fox'?"

"Does it really?" asked Dr. Purple.

"Yes, it does, in fact," said the Big Cheese strangely calm about this fact.

Clearing his throat Dr. Purple then turned to his robots, "Get it ready!" he commanded. "The annihilation of the cats begins tonight!"

The Big Cheese began to laugh. So did Jerry. Dr. Purple soon joined in the evil jollity. Their cackles echoed ominously up and out of the lab and into the coming dusk. The rising moon glistening in the ocean waves, which grew harsh in the coming sea breeze.

"Oh, I just love a good spaz of evil laughter!" shouted the Big Cheese, and the villains laughed all the harder.

#

A trickling of light filtered through the sides of the shades from the city outside and struck the glass of water on the night stand where it glistened in still calm. Everything proved dead quiet save for the faint sound of the night train in the distance, and the soft snores of the sleepers in their beds in the basement bedroom. The sleep proved near as tranquil as the water in the glass as placid as a lake in a Minnesota postcard. Or maybe … not so tranquil as a very familiar Spielberg inspired procedure occurred.

The water began to stir, and it stirred at the sound of a low boom somewhere very far off in the distance. It was not long before the sleepers too began to stir in a similar fashion.

From deep within a hard to escape slumber, Speedy lifted heavy droopy lids, and fastened them a moment onto the third stirring of the glass, and his thoughts drifted to the new movie he had seen that summer. He smiled lazily, and like the glass on the table he did not really move although stirred. He put his head back onto his pillow with a yawn and might have fallen back to sleep again until one boom sounded a little too close for comfort.

"It's an _earthquake_!" he cried leaping upright in bed.

"An earthquake?" moaned Guido, and he listened.

 _Boom!_

"Earthquakes don't sound like that," Guido muttered. "Maybe it's a band down the street."

BOOM!

That was even louder than before.

" _Nyah_!" cried Speedy losing his balance and falling out of bed.

Guido looked down at him a moment, but before he could speak another boom sounded. Both he and Speedy found themselves standing on a dresser to reach the small basement window. Throwing back the shades they looked outside.

"I don't see anything," whispered Speedy.

 _BOOM_!

"Me neither," said Guido in a similar hushed tone as the cats huddled together.

Then they heard an echoing mechanical snarl, and it was not long before they saw a cart whip toward the window.

"AHHH!" cried the cats and ducked just in time before the cart crashed through the window and into the room.

Daring to lift their heads they also then caught sight of a dinosaur-like creature poking its head out of the buildings as it stomped some more through the city.

"What's going on!?" Polly cried from the hall. She threw open the boys' bedroom door and gasped at the sight of the cart stuck in the wall across from the window. "What happened!?" she demanded.

"It's Godzilla!" cried Guido thrusting a finger.

"What?" gasped Polly.

"No! It's the Indominous Rex!" wailed Speedy thrusting a finger of his own in the same direction.

"I told you to be careful what you wished for," said Francine's voice from the hall.

Speedy frowned, but not with annoyance. A look of solid determination had overtaken his features. His teeth clenched as he glared out the window and heard the screams of innocent citizens.

"Then you know what we gotta do, don't you?" demanded Speedy.

"Get the T-Rex with a flare in high heels?" asked Guido sarcastically.

Speedy slammed his fist into his palm. "No! We gotta get into action! After three years, don't let people think the Samurai Pizza Cats have turned coward!"

"Right!" cried Polly.

"And I was getting so used to early retirement," sighed Guido.

"Come on, guys!" cried Speedy dragging Guido away from the window. "Francine! Get the cannon ready! We can take on stupid old Godzilla just as well as the Indominous Rex any day! It's time to save Little Tokyo …!"

It was not long before they were prepared and fired out onto the scene. Falling with style through the air they landed on the rooftops not far from where the great lizard-like beast made its rampage. They saw soon enough that beast was a robot, and although no one said so at once, all their minds were set on the idea that as annoying as it was, the Big Cheese and his army of crows must have returned, and with better robot-making skills than ever.

Still even Guido had to admit that being back out in action was a wonderful feeling. It had been so long since they introduced themselves to such a beast rather than little leaderless ninja crows who more often than not took flight in terror before the intro came to an end.

"Who will save us?" cried the people below.

Spotlights appeared.

"We will!" cried Speedy's voice.

"Guido Anchovy," said the first cat. "Back in action and never felt better. Didja miss me?"

"Polly Esther," cried the second blowing a kiss. "Forever with love!"

"And Speedy Cerviche!" exclaimed the final cat. "Any robot you dish we can take on like French toast!"

They dinosaur roared with power that almost knocked the cats over, but they caught themselves smoothly and neatly into great fighting poses. They opened their mouths to announce themselves as their group title, and yet before they could utter a word a speaker crackled and screeched from the robot's head. No one could ignore that ear splitting sound, and the cats held their ears quite annoyed.

The voice that came out was not the voice of the robot, and was certainly not a voice of one of the ninja crows or Jerry.

"Ah!" exclaimed the soft, light, sophisticated voice from inside the mecha. "So you're the cats! The Samurai Pizza Cats! I'm a little disappointed, I must admit."

"Oh, yeah!" cried Speedy. "Wait till you see us fight!"

"We'll have your dinosaur sent back to the Stone Age!" added Guido.

"The only thing you'll be disappointed about then is that you lost!" declared Polly.

"Oh, no, it's not that," said the voice. "It's just you are so very small and young. I was expecting someone more experienced after what the Big Cheese told me."

"And who are you?" snapped Speedy. "Just a new lackey for that maniac?"

The voice laughed. "I am the infamous Dr. Purple!"

"Never heard of you," said Guido.

"And you will find me a lot tougher to beat than Bad Bird and Jerry or their pathetic excuses for ninja."

"We'll just see about that!" said Polly.

An actual yawn came from the voice now. "Well, enough of this. Talk is cheap. Let's see how good you _really_ are before I die of boredom."

Hefty guns popped out from the back of the dinosaur.

"Ha!" Speedy yelled. "Those guns don't scare us!"

 _WHAP_! The dinosaur's tail thrashed forward, spikes on the end of it. It nearly splat the cats flat, but they just barely leapt out of the way with cries of surprise. The guns had been used as a diversion. This guy was not as stupid as he sounded. They had to be careful, Speedy realized, and diversion or not those guns were quite able to inflict damage.

He had not landed as well as he should have and had half tripped on a damaged pipe. The other two had not landed much better. They had lost some of their edge.

 _But this creep won't beat us even still_ , thought Speedy scrambling to his feet.

 _TSSSsssww … KA-BOOM_!

The guns fired, and the building upon which the cats stood shook beneath them and fell to the ground. Leaping to another building Speedy looked to see if the others did the same. They all landed much better this time.

"Where's the offence? The offence!" the voice demanded. "I thought you were heroes! Fight! Weaklings!"

" _Grrrr_! Don't tempt me!" snapped Speedy.

No messing around. He would just use cat slash right now and be done with it. No matter if some of his skills were a little rusty he could still use his famous sword. The dinosaur's driver was not messing around either. He was preparing to launch another assault with an even larger round of gun fire from a great cannon on the dinosaur's back.

Speedy grabbed for his sword, but was interrupted by the firing of the little missiles in the dinosaur's mouth, which happened to look like its teeth. The teeth quickly filled in with new ones as the old ones fired. They were heat seeking besides! Wailing through the air like vengeful ghosts they aimed for Guido. They aimed for Polly. Speedy was not exempt by any means. One missile found its way through the window of a nearby window and exploded. The cats were forced to still be on the defensive for the most part. Leaping away with all agility they possessed and slashing some of the missiles away back at the dinosaurs with their swords.

" _Eeek_!" cried Polly as she lost her footing on an awning as one missile nearly struck her in the back.

"Gotcha!" Guido called, grabbing her up again.

"Oh, if only we had the Catatonic!" growled Speedy.

But that was long gone.

A second round of missiles fired after the first had all exploded against something other than their targets. Again the cats readied themselves for leaps and swings their bodies were not used to. They had to now though. They had to for their lives.

Fortunately, some of the missiles they struck back with their swords locked onto the dinosaur robot as it lunged forward with a snarl and tried to trap them in its mouth. Striking the head a spark or two flew, and the Speedy at least felt satisfied with that as he rubbed an achy shoulder and looked up at it.

The voice from within the robot only laughed. "Good work, cats! That's what I want to see! Real action!"

"That guy's really starting to bug me!" snarled Polly.

"He's crazier than the Big Cheese," agreed Guido repositioning himself on a ledge.

The dinosaur snapped again quite without warning, and Guido and Polly, although managing just by the hairs of their tails to miss its chomp, fell now to the ground. They were on a low enough building by now that they were not hurt much, but they were quite knocked out of breath, and moaned as they scrambled upright again.

"Oh, we should have been training more!" groaned Polly. "Keeping up our strength."

Guido only let out another moan, but he held his sword at the ready for another round of missiles. Polly snatched out hers and once again together they tried to slash the missiles back or at least to slice them in half.

And of Speedy? Oh, he was not forgotten, nor was he himself left in a stupor. The dinosaur also shot missiles at Speedy, but Speedy was on the move. Though the missiles tried to catch up with him, he managed to prove at least his name was fitting from time to time, and he had a plan.

"Come and get me, creep!" snarled Speedy. "Stop playing!"

"Playing?" laughed Dr. Purple. "What? You want me to snap the mouth in front of you so that the missiles strike my head? Who's playing? Don't be so stupid."

Speedy frowned, and almost stopped in his resentment. He had hoped the dinosaur would fall for that, but to no avail. A missile struck so near him his fur singed. With a cry, he jumped away from another wailing banshee scream, and to make a bad situation even worse, his suit was running low on power. They were solar powered. This was night! It caused him to wonder why the ninja crows hardly ever fought at night. They had obviously known about the solar energy needed by the suits.

 _This guy must know it too_ , he thought angrily.

There was nothing for it. The next time the robot aimed its missiles at Polly and Guido, who too were looking quite worn by this point having to fight a suit that would not glide easily with their motions any longer, Speedy took action.

"Alright!" snarled Speedy taking his sword. "Take this! Cat Slash!"

With that final blow, the wild whipping strike of that famous weapon sailed through the air and struck the dinosaur square in the chest, and was enough of a blow even to cause the head to smash off. It sailed through the air, exploding as it crashed into town square.

"Wow, Mom!" said a familiar though slightly older little boy who thrust his hand out his bedroom window. He had Donkey Kong glow in the dark pajamas. "I haven't seen that much intense fighting since _Transformers 4_!"

"Oh, don't know," said his mother handing him a glass of water as she appeared at the window in her nightgown, " _The Hobbit 3_ was pretty intense for me. And what about _Terminator 5_?"

"Well, maybe, but I can't judge _The Hobbit 3_ until the extended edition," said the boy. "Hey, Mom, can I have _The_ _Hobbit 3_ , the extended edition for Christmas? Can I, Mom?"

"Sure you can, son."

The boy held up a fist of victory. "Yes!"

Meanwhile Nobu/X-Bad Bird from his own bedroom loft opened the window just then. He had been preparing to help the cats, but it was too late now. The cats had won without him. Well … at least they had not lost, and he sighed in relief for that. But he could not help the feeling of annoyance that he had almost been ready by the time they finished the monster off.

And meanwhile again, the princess three years older than before stuck her head out of her bedroom window angrily and yelled, "STOP ALL THAT RACKET!"

Al Dante frowned from the palace balcony. He was not especially pleased about the robots' return, and he had not heard a word of it beforehand either. Closing his eyes and turning away, he was at least satisfied that the cats had finished the robot with what appeared to be the same ease as usual. Though, the town suffered for it with a little more than most robots' damage. It certainly was not over, this new assault, and most-likely from a vengeful Big Cheese.

" _Yatta_!" cried the cats back outside on the ground in the middle of town. This was a cry of success.

And hurrying over to town square they made to see who would come out of the head. Panting and tired, but still feeling the effects of victory, they leered with determination as they circled the head.

"Congratulations, cats," said the crackling speaker from the now broken and shattered robotic head from which the skull could be made out behind its outer shell. "I'm a _little_ impressed, at least."

And with that a pod released from the top of the skull and launched upward.

Covering their heads, the cats' first impulse was that it was a bomb, but it was an escape they soon realized. It was the getaway of Dr. Purple, and it sailed off into the distance.

"He's getting away!" cried Speedy.

Guido clenched his teeth. "That means he'll be back."

"Great." And here Speedy sighed. "Well, there's nothing we can do about it now — _ouch_!" he rubbed his wrist. "He won't be back tonight at least. Let's — _ouch_ — go back to bed. Looks like the bad guys are back."

"Okay …" agreed his companions.

"At least this'll whip us back into shape," said Speedy with a grin. "And it was _kinda_ fun, ya gotta admit!" He swiped his sword and pretended to slice the head off of another adversary.

Neither Polly nor Guido looked the least bit amused.


	6. Bumps and Bruises

JMJ

CHAPTER SIX: BUMPS AND BRUISES

 _RI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-ING!_

It was like a laser to the head that dreaded sound.

After feeling like he could take on the world last night after the defeat of the robot, just moving an arm to smack the alarm clock took too much effort, but Speedy forced his body to comply for the sake of his ears and his aching skull. The light from under the door was too bright, and squinting and blinking he pulled his covers over his head and burrowed deep into his pillow. Dreams began to take hold again, and with a pleasant sweep of sleep reclaiming the weary mind he might have slept for another good five hours. He did not know how long he slept after that, but it seemed mere seconds before he was woken again to the throbbing of his head.

There was a knock on the door this time, and he could hear the moans of Guido from his bunk. He was in no better condition than Speedy.

"Come on, guys," said Francine. "I let you sleep in, but I need you to help me open!"

"I feel like I just turned sixty," muttered Guido.

"Eighty-five …" whispered Speedy.

"One hundred and ten," grumbled Guido.

" _Mmph_ … five hundred …"

"Come on you guys!" called Francine. "I can't run the pizzeria myself!" She had not heard their murmuring.

"We're coming!"

That was Guido. Speedy lifted his head above his covers a little and muttered, "We are?"

They were.

Up they got, slow and stiff and eyes barely open. Showers did little to wake them though the warm water did ease aching muscles. It was difficult to get out again. When they ate breakfast it served to tell them how achy their jaws were, and when they got to work upstairs at last, they saw that Polly, who usually got up long before the boys, looked like she had just gotten there about the same time as they had. The only thing that helped to wake them up and to forget their pains was work itself …

#

"Of course, I saw what happened last night," muttered Nobu after handing Lilly a platter with a tea pot and cups for a table. "You'd have to be deaf not to have."

Speedy thought a moment, and with an awkward shrug he said, "Well, yeah, but have you heard of anyone called Dr. Purple before?"

It was later that same afternoon at the slower time between lunch and dinner. After a delivery Speedy stopped by at Nobu's place to get hopefully more input from another head. Someone who used to know the underworld upside down had to have some kind of info to help a dark situation right-side up. At least one would have to think.

But the blank expression on Nobu's face for the first second or two discouraged Speedy greatly.

"Why?" asked Nobu frowning. "Was it written on the robot's foot or something?"

" _Hmm_ , maybe," said Speedy rubbing his chin. "I didn't check. But actually the guy driving the robot just told us that that was his name."

"Well, I could hear someone yelling something that wasn't you cats," murmured Nobu with a sage nod. "Looks like he took a lot outa ya too. You look terrible. Too bad I didn't make it in time to help."

" _Pff_ , nah," said Speedy waving his hand aside; he cricked his back and smiled. "No, we handled that robot just fine ourselves." He leaned against the counter and tried to hide the pain he felt from daring that crick.

Nobu raised a brow. "Just fine, huh?"

"Yeah," shrugged Speedy. "Got a problem?"

"No, but you do."

"Well, we still beat up the robot to smithereens. That's what's important."

"But he'll be back."

"What makes you say that?"

"Why wouldn't he?" Nobu demanded, both he and Speedy's voices had suddenly became rather low so as not to be overheard by the young duck as she picked up one of Willy's pizzas to bring to a table. He turned away as Lilly passed again. "But sorry. I never heard of anyone called 'Dr. Purple'. And there are a lot of mad doctors in the world."

"He said he was working for the Big Cheese!"

Nobu spun around and raised another brow. In a hushed voice he said, "The Big Cheese? He's back too?"

"Yes!" hissed Speedy. "At least, I think so. Maybe Dr. Purple's just new on the scene if you never heard of him. Just some egg-head to take the crows' place in building robots for him."

"I was the one who usually had to make the Big Cheese's stupid designs work in reality."

"Exactly," said Speedy. He paused thoughtfully. "But then couldn't Jerry just design them instead?"

"Jerry couldn't design something like _that_ that just came through last night," sniffed Nobu. "You better go back to work. The customer numbers are picking up again."

A heavy sigh did Speedy release, and with reluctance did he leave the neighboring restaurant for his own. He grumbled something about Nobu being rather snippy for someone who had nothing to hide, but he knew that Nobu would not keep some stupid scientist a secret from him unless he really was working for the bad guys again. He wouldn't, would he?

Speedy paused half way across the street and glanced doubtfully back at Nobu's restaurant.

No. No, he meant it. Bad Bird had truly changed. Otherwise he could not stay with Carla. In the upstairs window Speedy could see Carla in the loft tending to her eggs. Once again Speedy let out a sigh, and turning around he crossed the rest of the street.

However, if he had seen Nobu further Speedy might have had supplementary reason to suspect Bad Bird's sincerity, for as he watched Speedy from the window for a few seconds, he pulled out a sheet of paper from his kimono and glanced down it _very_ suspiciously. He leered down at the traditional Japanese characters written there in a spidery script as though they were orders to complete some sinister scheme. In fact it was truly signed by a ninja's hand. It was signed with the Japanese version of name of the master of the Ninja Crows: _Karasu_ and addressed to Nobu in his: _Karamaru_. It looked very serious, but the contents most around him would be unable to read. For a place called Little Tokyo few could actually read its contents even if they saw it.

Closing his eyes very gravely, Nobu glanced quickly behind him as though he half expected to see Jerry there, but he only saw Lilly who jumped to see his horrible grimace.

"A pizza's ready for delivery, sir," she quacked.

Nobu sighed wearily and almost in defeat much in the same way as Speedy had for the past three times. He shoved the paper back into his kimono and grabbed the pizza rather roughly from the duck's hands …

#

A thick fog enshrouded the world in its ominous veil. The pale half moon, when it did shed its light through the clouds, was wreathed with an ethereal glow. Its light filtered through the fog in a manner that although shed some light, caused the ground below to share in its eldritch atmosphere. To see a dark pair of wings swoop past was hardly unwarranted, and that it was the wings of a crow only proved a further omen of malevolence.

This figure however was Nobu. Instead of his bright green kimono he wore what he had once used as his armor against the cats when he had been on the side of the Big Cheese. He was in full gear and full alert in mind and senses as he dropped into the meeting place designated by Jerry. Although Nobu was going where directed by his former superior it must be noted that upon his chest plate he no longer bore the symbol of the Flying Skull and this was by no means an accident on Nobu's part.

Shifting his eyes after his nearly soundless landing he leered through the thickness of the fog to see if he could spot any sign of movement. Even the slightest sound of an insect drew his attention. Being so intent upon the slightest thing, it was as having a sound speaker turned up as high as it could go to hear something very soft and then having it switched to hard rock when the silence was broken suddenly by a daytime, normal-volume voice saying, "Oh, Bad Bird, there you are."

Leaping upright with a start and cringe, not to mention a strange sort of cawing sound through those clenched teeth, he spun around in alarm and flung out his sword to see Jerry just behind him. His blade happed to be inches away from Jerry's beak.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to show up," said Jerry crossing his arms. "Will you put that thing away for a moment?"

Nobu sighed and sheathed the weapon with shoulders slumped and a gnarled brow.

"Jerry," said Nobu. "What do you want?"

"You know perfectly well why I called you here," Jerry retorted in a rather casual manner. "I know I've been gone a long time and things happened in between the comet and now, but I'm allowing you to come back now. This is your chance to come back."

He spoke very matter-of-fact as though no time had lapsed since they last met, as if any tension between them was mere teenager/father misunderstandings — no! As if Bad Bird was a little boy who had run away from home for the thrill of joining the circus. And he spoke as if in the times before the comet, business was business as business usually was, and that now was time for a plan, one of the Big Cheese's ludicrous plans.

" _Allowing_ me?" grumbled Nobu.

Jerry smiled and nodded. "Mmm Hmm."

With a bit a theatrical flair (the bad guys were all drama queens in this city, and that had not changed much for Nobu) Nobu closed his eyes and turned away. "I decline."

"You can't decline from being a ninja."

"And who'll stop me?" Nobu asked.

All pleasantries at an end as well as the answer to Jerry's questions, a deep frown creased Jerry's old face, and his brows set heavily over those simmering coals for eyes.

"I'm not coming back," added Nobu in case Jerry had not gotten the message the first time. "Not now or ever."

"Then why did you come to this meeting at all?"

"To make sure there was no misunderstanding about the fact that I'm not coming back!" Nobu declared.

"I always knew you had the potential to go soft, Bad Bird, but this …"

"I hardly call working for the Big Cheese 'strong'."

Ignoring this comment for now, Jerry continued on the same line of his own thought. "Getting married to that girl. I knew she was trouble from the first moment I discovered you had been hanging out with her. I thought she was back in the countryside when we left for the city. I thought I didn't have to worry about her distracting you from your training anymore, and now _this_! Working at a pizzeria of all places! Bad Bird! Have you no honor left at all?"

Nobu's eyes widened. "Wait a minute! You were that old traveler at the table, weren't you?!" he gasped, and then slapped his forehead for his own stupidity. "Oh! I knew there was something strange about him! _Grr_!" He reoriented himself and in a straight and bold manner he said, "And as for honor …"

"Yes, honor," said Jerry. "Leaving behind the ninja, your duty, your clan, your life from which no ninja dares to leave. Marrying a girl I directly forbade you to have contact with. Starting a restaurant. Actually volunteering in community service …" Jerry shuddered and wrung his hands together as though in fear. "I didn't want to believe that one. Complete dishonor to all the ideals you were bred to have!"

There was a pause then. It may have looked from an onlooker, if there was any aside from the moon itself in that desolate meeting spot which only the Ninja Crows knew about, one may have thought that Nobu had been momentarily defeated in this debate. So far from the case. He was only gathering his thoughts enough to express them in actual words.

"What about _your_ honor, Jerry?" He spoke in full somber seriousness. He did not even speak his name with disrespect aside from the fact that he spoke it without his title which quite offended Jerry.

"That's _Master_ Jerry to you!" retorted Jerry with a haughty sniff.

Nobu closed his eyes.

"You led us from our home," he said. "You took us as a clan from our training and trained only a select few. Bad Max sort of flitted away and formed his own gang. Only I was trained after that. The rest were expected to train on their own when they weren't learning how to tinker for years while performing underworld stunts for the Big Cheese until we knew enough to build those dumb robots. We were already so ruined as a ninja clan that the only thing you could rely upon besides from my skill was the robots and … maybe Bad Max when he decided to show his face again, and now you want me to return to _that_?"

"So you admit that you abandoned us out of cowardliness and fear of failure," scoffed Jerry quite inattentive to most of what Nobu had said.

"The only reason why I even thought about changing sides was that it was only under _your_ rule that I realized what insanity evil is!" snarled Nobu. "And the meaning of the phrase 'false honor'. Just a taste of normalcy was all I craved. Just some sanity."

"How dare you speak about your mentor that way!"

"A mentor who failed me," said Nobu. "I would have died, killed, and suffered long torture for you and never would have considered that there was anything more honorable than being your second for as long as you were in charge no matter what my inner most feelings were about Carla, peacefulness, and solidity in a normal life. And I would have taken over the clan after your honorable death with all the pride a ninja can have."

"That is as it should have been," said Jerry. "I expected nothing less. I'm beginning to think, though, that I should have had someone keep a closer watch on you when you were little and I was sick for so long. You got too many ideas from outside sources."

"An innocent childhood wouldn't have been enough." Nobu shook his head. "Working for the Big Cheese like we did, though …"

" _With_ , Bad Bird, _with_ ," said Jerry. "And besides you know that I was only working with him and pleasing him to make our own ends in the end. We were using his power, wealth, and stupidity to make the Ninja Crows the most feared ninja in the East."

Nobu closed his eyes. "Working 'with' the Big Cheese was one thing … but _living_ with him as his servant boy was quite another."

"Oh, you sleeping under the palace at night doesn't make you 'living with him'," said Jerry tut-tutting. "And you were under me foremost not the Big Cheese directly. I knew you were annoyed. I understood your frustration with that stupid fox but—"

"I was talking about you," muttered Nobu.

"What?"

"You were starting to become his parrot rather than a crow. You were with him so much that his stupidity and insanity was starting to make you crazy too," said Nobu. "Don't you see that?"

Jerry stiffened.

"The more I stood and watched you grovel before the Big Cheese, the more it became you _joining_ the Big Cheese. It wasn't fun anymore, especially towards the end. It's like losing all the time had you falling into his delusions. I was having an _Animal Farm_ moment, if you will. I saw no difference between you and the Big Cheese. Except then I started to think you were crazier than him and that the Big Cheese was just stupid."

"I _hate_ that fox, _non compos mentis_!" Jerry snarled.

"Well, then you became the very thing you hate most," said Nobu, lowering his head with a bit of pity now, which seemed to make Jerry all the more angry.

Nobu's own rage had lessened now somehow. His changing sides truly had changed his heart even if it had not stifled his temper. Jerry had been the closest family member he had aside from his own father before he had died. He recalled now for a moment how much he had loved and admired Jerry when he was little when Jerry had seemed so wise, and now … he could not help but feel some of that love he had had for him, but it was painful to say (and it was quite a different feeling compared to anything Nobu had felt before) that he felt it a great pity to see him now. A warped old fool. After years of absence he still was working for the Big Cheese.

Angry with himself for displaying this emotion, Nobu looked away with a rather childish pout.

"You're going to regret this, Bad Bird."

Raising a skeptical brow, Nobu opened his eyes back upon Jerry. "I don't think so," he said rather quietly. "The only thing I regret is not leaving sooner."

Having nothing further to say Nobu took flight quite suddenly.

"I mean it, you'll regret this!" Jerry called, but he sounded more desperate than serious.

Regardless, Nobu half-expected the Ninja Crows to attack him from behind, but all was as silent as when he first came upon the scene. Only the sound of air rushing past him came to his ears, and as he gave a quick glance back he saw that Jerry himself had disappeared into the fog. With a heavy frown and a huff Bad Bird returned to the front and headed for home.

On the way he thought briefly that he should have asked about Dr. Purple before he had gone on that dumb tirade about why he left the ninja, but it was too late now. Besides that Jerry probably would not have told him anything unless he had been certain Bad Bird would return under his wing. Now, thanks to his temper, Jerry probably would be more likely to try something like sabotage his restaurant than he would have had Nobu just declined calmly and left.

Oh, he would just keep an eye out.

Besides, Nobu did not have long to think about Jerry when he heard the screeching of missiles when he reached the city limits again and with more of more destructive power than the night before …


	7. Fireworks are Glorified Explosions

JMJ

CHAPTER SEVEN: FIREWORKS ARE GLORIFIED EXPLOSIONS

Earlier that same night …

"Look, Mom!" exclaimed the little boy from his window again, "It's _Sonic and the Lost World_ come to life!"

"No more Sonic marathons for you. Go back to sleep."

"Aww, Mom …" 

This new robot came upon the city of Little Tokyo much in the same way that the first had: rampaging the streets and waking the cats from a deep sleep.

They had been quite annoyed to know that Dr. Purple had decided to come back so quickly. In the old days, the robots had come on about once or twice a week at the most, and even then there were often times when a whole month would go by after such a feat in order for the crows to recuperate. But Dr. Purple apparently did not bother with crows whether or not he was working for the Big Cheese ultimately.

Instead of crows he had drones shaped like owls; thus why the little boy's comparison to the game. There was also a mother robot in the shape of one great and horrible owl like the ones that plague the clothes stores and drug stores only far more hideous with its great multicolored eyes of death from which different colored lasers fired. Missiles came out of its beak from time to time too, making it all the more destructive.

However, the cats would have been able to handle the main hunk of metal just fine. The owl robot was not as strong as the dinosaur had been, but it was the smaller owl drones that got in the way. Each time the cats got close to the mother owl, the drones would close in on them. They would dive bomb, peck, and scratch and scream into the cats' ears.

And there was one more problem too as if this wasn't bad enough. The fight again took place at night. They had recharged their suits, but they had to finish the fight in a limited amount of time or they would not be able to fight back such a robot, drones or not.

"There's only one thing to do!" gasped a completely exhausted and fed up Speedy Cerviche. "Call in back-up!"

Just as Speedy rang his little bell around his neck, the owl robot took a great winged fist and pounded it down upon Speedy's head.

" _Gllng_ ," moaned Speedy and stuck out his tongue miserably.

Yet despite being dazed a terrible headache would be delayed until morning. Speedy, shaking himself to, managed to get out of the way before another laser fire could come down upon him and blast him. He tried again his signature move, but the drones were fast. They pecked and dive-bombed and were very annoying. He could not squeeze in a time long enough to complete it.

"How's he so fast?!" cried Speedy. "It's like he's synced with our minds or something!"

"Not synced, merely quick-witted and my robots have quick reflexes," the soft and placid voice of Dr. Purple mocked with the sound of _Batman the Animated Series'_ Mad Hatter or P _inky and the Brain's_ Snowball from inside the main owl, and he gave a slight chuckle before the loudspeaker turned off.

"Oh, I wish I could fight _him_!" snapped Polly. "He's more annoying than Bad Bird ever was!"

"He's more annoying than the Big Cheese himself!" declared Speedy.

"And he probably fights about as well one on one too," sniffed Polly.

"He sounds like some fat old turkey," agreed Guido.

"Sticks and stones, pussy cats!" laughed Dr. Purple lightly just before a stream of pink lasers fired from the owl's eyes and struck the building on which Guido and Polly stood. It collapsed to the ground.

They could not handle much more of this, and as Speedy watched and struck back a few drones, he growled with rage.

"Why don't you go bug someone else, huh!?" exclaimed Speedy. "We don't even know you, pal!"

"Ah, but you will, Speedy, you will quite well," said Dr. Purple. "And I'll get to know you very well too."

"We'll just see who gets to know who," said Speedy. "Besides in a few seconds your gunna have the chance to meet my friends."

He said this because at that moment the Rescue Team had just shown up. Or least one of them did. Bat Cat flew in on the scene. His mission: to get rid of the drones so that the Speedy and his partners could get the big owl and hopefully capture the one who built her.

However, Bat Cat had not gone far into battle before the poor cat was struck down with an electric pulse formed by the drones banding together and radiating shocks of lightning from their bodies toward him.

Speedy's face fell, but at least there was one good thing that came out of it. The drones had to recharge after their shock, which seemed to do them a bit of harm as well, and even as poor Bat Cat sailed out of sight, Speedy took the initiative of using his good old signature move on that robot as stupid as it was horrible. And that was the end. It exploded great fireworks that blew all three cats away. The fireworks were a gorgeous sign of the cats' victory, but it proved very painful.

The bright flashes of color and light and the pounding of its sound, almost startled Nobu into dropping from the sky in surprise as he approached the city. If he had not been a trained ninja he probably would have. He also almost got struck by one of those bursts of fireworks, and luckily only singed his tail feathers a little.

It had been another plan of Dr. Purple's of course, this grand finale, and again the good doctor escaped in his pod. When Nobu appeared on the scene all he found was a pile of rubble and a heap of wounded cats.

Besides the fact that he had come too late to help … again, he also realized that in the end he would not have been any help in this case at all, which infuriated him. After a growl to display this frustration, he simply took the initiative of calling the ambulance.

#

Now Speedy had a real reason to moan.

They would all be able to leave by that afternoon, yes, but for now he was lying in bed quite injured. The brunt of the blast had been against him. Polly and Guido had managed to get through the experience with a few bandages and Bat Cat had gotten stuck in a tree during his fall and only had a scratch or two (he was only at the hospital to visit his injured comrades), but Speedy? How would he be able to fight any time soon after this, even if he could go home that evening?

"We gotta get to the bottom of this!" Speedy gasped as a doctor finished adjusting a bandage.

"Hold still," said the doctor.

Speedy paid little attention.

"But how?" asked Guido. "We talked to Al. He doesn't have any dirt on this guy at all so far. We don't even know what he looks like. We don't even know for sure he's working for the Big Cheese."

"If only we could follow him after he blasts off and escapes," said Polly.

"Well, a tracking device could work for that," said Bat Cat, "but you'd have to get it on his escape pod somehow before the robot's broken."

"That means we gotta get inside it!" cried Speedy.

"Please, hold still, Mr. Cerviche!" exclaimed the doctor. He cleared his throat. "There now. That should do it."

Speedy sighed.

"We'll have to have a real plan then," Polly said.

"We will!" Here Speedy pounded his fist on the side of the bed, and even that hurt a little. "Ouch. We'll have the best plan in Pizza Cat history!"

"Oh," said the doctor suddenly. "There's a visitor here to see you."

The cats gasped as they saw who the visitor was.

"Lucile!?" cried Speedy.

"Please calm down, Mr. Cerviche," said the doctor. "It will aid the healing process better."

"Oh, you poor things!" swooned Lucile as she entered the room.

"Don't worry," Guido whispered to Speedy. "I made Lucile promise not to buy any more explosives."

"Huh, well then you turned out a better boy friend for her than I was," whispered Speedy in return. "I didn't even think of that."

Guido smiled smugly.

"Oh, Guido!" cried Lucile as she grasped him around the middle.

"Ah!" said Guido wincing from the pain, but he forced a smile and nodded. "I'm alright."

"Oh, and poor Speedy and everyone too," sighed Lucile standing upright again and clasping her hands together. "It's terrible what happened to you all."

Speedy glanced warily at Guido, hoping that he was right, for the tears were beginning to well in her great brown eyes.

"Oh!" she exclaimed as she hugged Guido again. "I'm so sorry!" she sobbed.

The explosives emerged from the top of her head …

Polly and Speedy leered at Guido.

 _Ka-Boom!_

The room was black with ash, and everyone stared out with bulging eyes, except for Guido whose eyes were nearly shut, and his teeth were clenched, for Lucile's arms were still tightly strung around him, and the worse of the explosion happened to have sailed right past his face and caused a hole in the ceiling above.

"Lucile …" he moaned. "You promised …"

"I'm sorry," sobbed Lucile. "I forgot. It's a hard habit to break. I—I'm working on it." And her tears began to well again. "I'm _so sorry_!"

" _Ak_!" cried Guido. "Do you have anymore?"

"No," said Lucile withdrawing from his and looking down with shame. "They're all out now."

Everyone then heaved a great sigh of relief.


	8. Screech of Heavy Metal on an Old Record

JMJ

That night of the fireworks Jerry did not return to Dr. Purple. In fact he had not returned anywhere for a long time. Not that anyone had been particularly worried about him. Jerry could take care of himself, and Jerry preferred people to think of him that way. No matter what else age had done to him, he was still fit enough to take care of himself very well.

However, Jerry was annoyed when the ninja crows did not greet him as he banged open the door to his old house at the Ninja Village, or rather he was annoyed that the one who _did_ greet him was none other than the Big Cheese. He would have rather had a whole murder of crows smothering him to death with worry than the Big Cheese's big ugly head peering down at him the second he came in through the door. A surprise birthday party with people singing "How old are you now?" would have been better than that obnoxious voice exclaiming, "Oh, there you are, Jerry!" as if he had been late for a very important appointment.

Jerry did not answer him. He felt less in the mood for the Big Cheese now than he had when he had first discovered the current status of his best ninja. Now it just became ten times worse.

"Hey, Jerry! I'm talking to you! Hello!" the Big Cheese exclaimed. He was wearing his old ninja mask he had once used what seemed so very long ago when he showed his face in front of the Pizza Cats to keep his alter ego secret.

Taking note of this mildly, Jerry continued walking towards his table where a pot of tea sat next to a tea cup. It was still warm too, which pleased him. At least it was warm enough to drink. Pouring himself a cup, Jerry knelt down and with high brows and eyes nearly closed he began to sip.

"Hey, Jerry!" exclaimed the Big Cheese coming behind him. "I've been thinking …"

"Oh, _have_ you," muttered Jerry ostentatiously.

The Big Cheese wrinkled his nose and straightened himself with some pomp. "That's not funny."

Jerry lifted his shoulders a tad vulture-like and glared out at nothing in particular as he slowly brought the cup to his beak again.

"Did you find Bad Bird?" asked the Big Cheese suddenly remembering why Jerry had been gone in the first place.

Slouching further downward and scowling harder Jerry returned, "We don't need Bad Bird."

"Oh," shrugged the Big Cheese. "Well, then I wanted to tell you that from now on I think it best to stay in the village now that I'm a ninja outlaw too."

"Hence the mask," muttered Jerry to himself.

"What?" demanded the Big Cheese.

"You are not a ninja, Seymour," said Jerry for the first time turning around behind him to face the fox.

"Technicalities," scoffed the fox. "The point is, since I don't have my position anymore, and I want revenge, and I'm an outlaw, I might as well be a ninja and therefore live in the Ninja Village and—"

"Big Cheese, can't you see I'm sulking?" Jerry demanded throwing his arms out in front of him.

"No, it just looks like you're drinking tea," said the Big Cheese with a shrug. "You always do that. I guess that's just what you old people do. Sit around and drink tea and be a fuss pot."

Jerry rolled his eyes and growled something very unpleasant under his breath.

"Well, then as a ninja," muttered Jerry loud enough for the Big Cheese to hear well enough, "why don't you find the other ninja crows and see what sort of work their up to."

"Work?" laughed the Big Cheese picking up a fan and beginning to fan himself with it. He leaned idly against the table. "That's a good one. You know I never work."

"Well, if you are a ninja," said Jerry closing his eyes with a most condescending air, "you have to get used to work and lots of it. You're not a pampered kit anymore."

"If you don't stop patronizing me, Jerry, I'm going to get livid with you," the Big Cheese warned, "and I was in a pretty good mood too."

"Well, I'm _not_ in a good mood! I want just a moment to think in peace and quiet, _okay_!? With _out_ your incessant jabbering!"Jerry snarled banging his fist on the table. Then pouring himself some more tea he began to sip calmly again quite sudden in his change of mood, or at least externally.

A childish, angry pout appeared on the Big Cheese's face, but after a moment and haughty snort, he marched away.

"Fine," he said. "See if I ever talk to you again, you crabby old dink!"

"Fine!" growled Jerry.

As the Big Cheese made his exit he did not forget to slam the door. The whole little hut shook with the convulsions of an earthquake but Jerry remained unmoved until the shaking had ceased. Then he took another sip of his tea. After another moment or so, he then stood up and rolled down a mat on which to sleep; though he did not lie down until he locked the door and posted a sign outside it that read, "Do not disturb" with a skull and cross bones painted underneath it.

#

He did not sleep as long as he would have preferred, but his mind was busy with what to do next. When he woke up, he had some left over rice to eat with some old cold meat, and he glowered the whole time until the last grain of rice. All the while he thought of Bad Bird and everything that had passed between them the previous night.

What bothered him more than anything about their debate was that most of what Bad Bird had said about the Ninja Crows happened to be true. Most of what Bad Bird had said about Jerry himself had been true, though he did not quite admit that to himself just yet.

 _It's like losing all the time had you falling into his delusions_ , Bad Bird's voice echoed in his mind, but Jerry shook his head.

He would deal with the Big Cheese later.

 _And who needs Bad Bird anyway_? thought Jerry sulkily. _He's still a traitor no matter what he says about the Big Cheese or the clan._

Then what was to be done?

Jerry thought a moment.

"The Rude Noise?"

With a grimace Jerry shook his head. "No, no, I have enough aggravation as it is," he muttered waving his arms in front of him.

Then wrapping his arms behind him he began to pace.

He could have the ninja build another robot. He had no time to train anyone else. Nick was the best in the clan right now, and that was a very sad, sad thing to say. Oh, any robot they could build in a short amount of time would not hold a candle to Dr. Purple's fancy mecha and Jerry knew that quite well. Besides, he still wanted Dr. Purple on his side for now. He did not want to act competitive. No new enemies had to be added to the list of the ones he already had. He needed more allies.

With a heavy sigh he leered out the window in utter defeat.

"The Rude Noise …" muttered Jerry again.

They were the only allies he could think of now. Bad Max may have been a defiant little squawker, but he was not exactly a traitor, and Jerry did not believe he ever would be. It would be humiliating to beg his gang for help, but he could nonchalantly enlist them.

"Oh, Jerry," moaned Jerry pulling his claws over his eyes. "How low can things get?"

#

They claimed to be a band, but they did not have many fans. The fact that they made people deaf from their screechy style drove most people away. It was not just because their lyrics made absolutely no sense. After all, most band lyrics don't. They did have a small and very loyal following most of whom were at least half deaf or played their music very low as a form of background noise. The Rude Noise managed to make enough to live on with this small obsessive group of fans who bought every T-shirt and every album as often as they could, but the fact that their following was summed up in a number no more than a few hundred people around the whole world proved detrimental at times. That was the main reason why Bad Max liked it so much when he was summoned by Jerry to fight those flea-bag cats.

Jerry awaited the arrival of this financially inept crew atop the tallest structure in the ninja village with full knowledge that Max would want to be well paid for his work. Jerry did not have much to give him, except the promise of shares of the emperor's wealth once the cats were defeated.

Checking a watch that randomly clung to his wrist at the moment, Jerry rolled his eyes.

"Of course they have to be late," he muttered.

Some of the other ninja crows who were also with Jerry expressed their sympathies.

Tapping the watch impatiently, Jerry tried to trash the thought that Bad Bird had never been so late. He had been late only once by a few minutes and (although unbeknownst to Jerry) it had only been because his and Jerry's clocks had not matched.

 _It doesn't matter,_ he told himself. _Inferior to Bad Bird or not, Bad Max has to equal Bad Bird with a whole gang to back him up_. _Besides, maybe they trained up since last time I saw them._

It was too much to hope for, Jerry soon realized when suddenly in the shade of the trees lights turned on in bright neon pink and green. He cringed at the squeal of an electric steel guitar and nearly fell over. The other ninja crows did likewise, except a couple of them did fall over.

"Only fashionably late!" laughed one of Max's companions. Jerry thought it was Mojo Rojo, but then he purposely got Ronnie Geissmuller and Mojo mixed up as they were not members of the Flying Skull nor ever had been.

Then the music started. It was somehow reminiscent of a brand new, high tech Team Rocket motto and continued to be so as it went on and the stars of the display presented themselves with a spotlight each as they continued to play on their instruments.

Jerry frowned not impressed in the least.

"Applause is unnecessary;

Just give us your screams!

We're only new tricks now,

So nothing's as it seems!"

This little ditty sung behind the screeching and wailing and chinking of hard metal had been performed by Maxie himself, though he was still doused in shadow.

The first to appear in full neon glow was Ronnie.

"The light of the moon,

The light of the sun

All are pretty bright,

But it's us who'll've won!

"Ray!"

Second was Cannonball Battery.

"The thunder in your eye

Is me kicking your butt!

"Cannonball Thud!"

"That doesn't even rhyme," said a ninja crow, but his voice was drowned out by the music.

Then it was Mojo Rojo's turn.

"Nothing too hard.

Never a quack.

Nothing at all will stop

The master of hack!

" Dweebs!"

Then the leader himself resumed.

"Masters of anarchy,

More than just bad,

We'll make your life bedlam

We'll make you go mad!

"Mad Max!"

Then the music got even louder as all joined in the chorus at screeching volumes:

"We're the Apocrowlypse!

Yeah! The Apocrowlypse!

The most unbreakable

Unstoppable

Apocrowlypse!

We're—"

Jerry's mouth dropped. "Dweebs!?"

Just this single exclamation caused the whole band to stop. It was mostly be because Bad Max had stopped playing, and leaping down from the shelter of the trees and onto the roof he said, "We changed our alter ego names to fit our new-age group."

"But 'Dweebs'?" asked Jerry again in utter disbelief.

"Yeah, dweebs are in," said Mojo.

"I think that's nerds that are in," said Nick rubbing his aching head where his ears would be under his helmet.

The rest of the ninja crows behind him were moaning miserably.

"Who asked you?" demanded Mojo glaring down at the smaller crow.

Nick snorted unafraid.

Jerry was still in a state of muddled confusion. "But … 'Dweebs'?"

"Did we play too loud for you, Master Jerry?" asked Bad Max with a bit of humor. "You're going like an old record there."

"But 'Dweebs'!?" demanded Jerry and coming to his senses he glared at Bad Max, crossed his arms staunchly, and said, "And you can't call yourself 'Mad Max'. That name is copywrited."

"That's just how bad I am," said Bad Max. "We needed new names for our new image. Not only do we have a brand new image for our band, we're neo ninja now. Right guys?"

"Right!" exclaimed the others.

"Well, fine then, but don't expect me to call you those names," said Jerry. "The only one that was an improvement was probably 'Ray' from Ronnie Geissmuller."

"We can't expect you to understand the new age," said Max. "You're _age_ and all."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Jerry demanded. "I keep up with the times just fine. You should see the new robots on our side."

"Where are they?" asked Max.

"Well, I can't show them to you _now_!" exclaimed Jerry, and he cleared his throat. "Now let me explain what I called you for."

"How much?" asked Max.

"How much what?"

"How much will you pay us?" demanded Max. "We don't come cheap anymore. You'd have to pay us an awful lot to get us to work for you, especially since I know the only reason why you called me here was because you found out you don't have Bad Bird anymore or Good bird or Nobu or whatever he calls himself now."

"I don't care what his name is, don't talk about him," muttered Jerry waving his hand aside. "You know about him too?"

"Everyone knows about Bad Bird," said Cannonball Battery candidly. "He's married to Carla and has pizza all the time and he hangs out with the c—"

"I know all about the volunteer firefighter bit," muttered Jerry. "I said not to talk about him. You'll all get a share of the emperor's fortunes if we succeed in this venture we've got cooked up."

"But what do we get up front?" asked Max.

"Nothing!" snapped Jerry. "We're broke!"

"What about the Big Cheese?" asked Max. "Where is he?"

"How the stink should I know where the Big Cheese is?" Jerry said. "I don't keep track of that crazy fox. He does whatever he wants. Besides he's broke too. He was kicked out of the palace, don't you remember?"

"Then no deal," retorted Max cocking his head upward haughtily.

Closing his eyes Jerry growled and after a few seconds he opened them again and said, "I don't have time for any of your nonsense! This is for the honor of the Flying Skull! Of which you are still a part of! Of which blood and sweat demands! Of which your destiny as a ninja demands! I won't have back talk!"

"The honor of the Flying Skull," laughed Max. "You mean the honor of a bunch of clucking hens!"

The other three joined his laughter.

Anger boiled in Jerry's head like a witch's brew and raged like a torrent of the sea. In fact the color in his face changed quickly from purple and black to bright tomato red.

The other crows behind Jerry just stared at Max in utter shock.

"We're neo ninja. The ancient ninja are history!" Bad Max added. "And the Flying Skull is living proof!"

"Want us to kill them, Master Jerry?" Nick cried.

"Just try it, punk," huffed Bad Max.

Nick whipped out his sword and with a growl of rage ran at an unconcerned Bad Max with all his strength. Bad Max had only to lift out his leg at the right moment and Nick tripped dropping his sword. Snatching it away with one hand Bad Max then lifted out his other hand as Nick tried to tackle him. In vain were Nick's craws and snatching claws trying to reach for Max as Max's hand held him back by the head.

"Sad, isn't it?" Max yawned examining the little sword, and he tossed it aside while its owner continued in his pitiful attempt to attack him. "And you're too old to fix them now too. Neo ninja are the way of the future … not this pipsqueak and his gang. And we're not interested in fighting those cats either."

The other ninja crows quite offended by this point themselves flung out their weapons one and all in almost complete unison.

"We can fight!" they cried. "You traitors!"

"I don't have time to fight little ninja like you," scoffed Bad Max. "We got bigger fish to fry. Come on, gang, let's go."

And after the other three agreed, they took flight with Max (mad or bad) in the lead. They laughed as they flew, and Jerry remained standing and staring straight ahead of him. By now his whole body had become the color of a raspberry.

"Master Jerry …?" Nick ventured studying his master with care. "Should we … go after them?"

A heavy growl released from Jerry's beak. He might have blown up in a similar fashion as the Big Cheese, but now that the sight of the Rude Noise had vanished with memories more rude than ever left behind, Jerry seemed to calm somewhat, and that growling breath had released from the pressure.

"No!" Jerry snapped. "Forget them! We don't need them!"

And withdrawing he returned to his hut slamming the door behind him.

"Hey, Jerry?"

Jerry jumped and spinning around he saw the Big Cheese still with his ninja mask on in front of a television set and holding a mug of hot chocolate.

"Wasn't that the Rude Noise outside?"

" _YES_!" snarled Jerry.

Standing up and putting down his mug the Big Cheese hurried up to his side and said, "Didn't go too well, huh?"

"No," said Jerry very darkly, and then crossing his arms he demanded, "What are you doing in here, Seymour? This is _my_ house!"

"Well, you know, I just wanted to tell you about my new plan to get revenge on that cat that calls himself the prime minister," said the Big Cheese.

"I don't care, Seymour," said Jerry.

"Sure you will," said the Big Cheese. "Just listen a moment."

"Seymour!" snapped Jerry.

"What?" said the Big Cheese. "You called me 'Seymour' three times in a row. What's the matter with you, Jerry? Why are you being such an old stick-in-the-mud? I have a brilliant plan to get revenge on the cats and you just sulk about perimeters. I'm still in charge here and—"

"You're not in charge!" Jerry snapped taking up his cane and smacking it across the Big Cheese's muzzle. " _I'm_ in charge! I've _always_ been in charge! And I always _will_ be! I only was using you because you were a stupid, rich, powerful and pampered brat for my own ends! Don't you get that!? I hate you! I always have hated you since the moment I saw your ugly pupiless eyes in front of my face and your putrid lips on my beak! And I don't care about your stupid ideas! And quit calling me ' _old_ '!"

Now it was the Big Cheese's turn to change to a strange color. It took a while for his mind to comprehend what Jerry was telling him, but as Jerry came to the end of his rant it finally registered with the fox that Jerry meant every word he was saying. Many things clicked together in his mind, and in a passionate rage he promptly exploded in a roar of fury.


	9. Allies in Place

JMJ

"RESTAURANT CLOSED/DRIVE THRU ONLY"

That was what the sign read on the door of the Pizza Cats' Pizzeria. This made a lot of patrons rather grumpy, but in the end most still dealt with the drive through. The restaurant did not have an official window for such things, but Francine had improvised. It was her idea to keep the restaurant open at all, after all. She had a small window in the kitchen opened. It had been painted shut but that did not deter her.

Another problem with the window was that it was very high up for anyone handing food to a customer would have to drop the food into a customer's cart from a ladder on the inside. This would not do, of course, so Francine came up with another idea. She put little parachutes on Styrofoam boxes to drift the food down into the carts or hands below. One may call her a workaholic, which she probably was, but she would not care. She owned the deed to the restaurant, and she would make those pizzas as available to the public as possible, especially with competition right across the street.

However, it must be admitted that there was absolutely no cleaning going on in the orthodox sense of the word, which was the only reason it had ever been closed before. The only mention of cleaning was cleaning up that mess known as "Dr. Purple". Desperate times came for desperate measures. The workers aside from Francine were beaten and bruised, and they needed to recuperate and fast if they wanted to end the new robot invasion. And they also needed as much time as possible to discuss their next move besides, and that's exactly what they were doing.

"Maybe we should have a real drive-through window installed," muttered Francine as she got another order from a customer calling out to her from the ground outside. Then writing it all down and turning down from the ladder to where the others were speaking with Al over the vidphone, she called, "One large New York style pizza with pepperoni, pineapple and a heaping pile of Anaheim sauce!"

"Right on it," Polly groaned.

She hurriedly got the pizza going and popped it in the oven. Then she practically flew back to the vidphone wiping her brow.

"Okay, where were we?" she asked.

"Dr. Purple," said Guido.

On screen, Al Dente nodded. "Yes, I think I may have something that might be interesting to you."

"Really?" said Speedy brightly. "It's about time! This secret is killing me. It's not someone in court that we can't get at again, is it?"

"Well, it can't be the prime minister," said Guido crossing his arms. "That's my brother."

"Besides," said Polly. "You said you saw him." She looked a tad skeptical as she said this.

"I did!" insisted Guido.

"May I speak now before there's another pizza called out?" grumbled Al.

"Yes, tell us already," said Speedy.

"Okay," said Al closing his eyes. "So. I did some background checking of all the people that may want to get revenge on the emperor, and believe me the list is very long, but I managed to dig up thi—"

"Three medium cheese-in-the-crust pizzas!" called Francine from the ladder. "Meat lovers deluxe! And the timer for that New York styled pizza just dinged!"

The cats groaned and nearly dropped to the floor with exasperation.

"Coming!" Speedy called back.

Rushing to the oven, he pulled out the fresh hot one as Polly and Guido swiftly made the next three.

"Francine, can't we close now!" gasped Guido.

"Well, we were closed half day when you guys were at the hospital," said Francine. "If we're closed for too long our money won't hold out."

"Oh, it'll be fine," muttered Speedy.

"You want to lose the electricity in this place and eat nothing but canned anchovies for a month?" asked Francine.

The cats said nothing in response to this, but hurried back to Al as fast as they could.

Al sighed, "Maybe I should just call back after hours."

"No!" gasped Speedy. "Tell us now! The suspense is killing me!"

However it was at this moment there occurred another interruption, yet not in the form of an order for lunch. The flinging open of the backdoor caused the cats to jump and their fur to bristle in surprise.

Were the customers breaking in!?

But as they looked they saw not a customer but Nobu in full gear including armor, sword, shirkens, smoke pellets and all. This surprised the cats greatly. It would have just been the topping on the cake (or the pizza) had it been over three years ago, but as it was, the sight of Nobu, geared up for battle, was a much better sight than an angry customer. Had it been raining outside the scene would have looked the very picture of a dramatic part in a movie, wind whipping around him and all. He slammed the door and looked with such resolve upon the kitchen.

"I've come to help!" he said in a voice just as dramatic as his entrance. "I'm tired of sitting around watching you all get pummeled while I just run a restaurant! I'm going to make up for my past right now and fight beside you like a true ally!"

"Well," said Speedy blinking wide-eyed. "Thanks, Bad Bi … I mean Nobu …" (The crow looked more like a "Bad Bird" than a "Nobu" all in armor like that.) "We're not fighting at the moment, but … come and join us."

"Yeah," said Guido. "We could use the help."

Polly nodded and smiled.

"And could you please bring a straw for the soda?" asked Francine. "We're out up here. There's a box of them by the door where you are."

Nobu sighed. "Right," he muttered, and picking out a straw from the box so-marked and then bringing it to Francine.

"Thank you, Mr. Bird," she said cheerfully. "We sure miss you working here."

"No problem," he said, and turning toward the other cats who were looking at each other rather strangely, he cleared his throat and made his way to join the others.

"Alright," said Al. "Now, as I was saying …" His eyes shifted to make certain there were not going to be any more interruptions for the moment. Satisfied he nodded, and continued. "I believe that Guido saw correctly when he says he saw that Dr. Purple was a hawk when he escaped out the last robot with his pod."

"You did?" asked Nobu turning to Guido.

"Yes," said Guido. "I saw him come out during that fireworks display. He was definitely a hawk or an eagle or something like that."

"And there was a hawk," said Al holding up a file of papers, "who worked for the emperor in the early years of his reign, and his description might just be what we're looking for. In fact, I remember him just a little even though I was only a pup then. He was a scientist funded by the palace and was named Pr. Plum."

"Like in _Clue_?" asked Speedy laughing. "That's funny."

"Well, that fits with 'Purple'," said Polly. "Anything else about him?"

"Yes, he was the one responsible for connecting all the vidphones in the city properly," said Al, "and a few nice inventions, some of which are related to your cannon and a few other things we use."

"Then why would he want revenge?" asked Guido. "He was probably pretty upscale?"

"Did the emperor not pay him enough or something?" asked Speedy.

"One extra large pizza with cucumber, onions and extra tomatoes!" called Francine.

"Oh …" grumbled Polly.

But they quickly fixed up the new pizza.

"What happened to him?" asked Nobu then of Al.

"Well," said the dog as the cats quickly returned, "like a lot of creative people he certainly had a mind of his own, and some of what he wanted to create wasn't liked by the emperor — this was before he was uh …"

"The way he is?" asked Speedy.

" _Ehem_!" interrupted Al in full propriety; he was the emperor's guard dog after all. Holding up a piece of paper over his face and reading its contents he went on, "Pr. Plum wanted to advance cyborg technology in a way that the emperor had no desire to fund, nor did any of the immediate court except for one member: the old prime minister who was the father of the Big Cheese, I'll have you know."

"So it wasn't a good thing then?" said Speedy.

Al shook his head. "And because he would not heed the word of the emperor and was taking funds for his project anyway, he was first banished from court and fined after some imprisonment. Then, after escaping prison there was some fear for the emperor's life. He was then banished from the country, and that was the last that was ever seen of him."

"Well, that sounds like as good a proof that that's our guy that we're gunna get!" declared Speedy.

"But how are we gunna find him now?" asked Nobu.

"Right," said Polly. "That still doesn't help us now."

"Well, we know he's a hawk," said Guido. "And he's smart."

"And full of himself," muttered Speedy.

"And he's gotta be kinda old now too," said Polly.

Speedy turned to Nobu. "Any suggestions."

"Uh! I just got here," said Nobu. "I don't know!"

With a sage sort of expression Guido turned away and tapped his chin. "If I didn't know any better," he murmured. "I'd say that Al's description sounds an awful lot like that old bird that fixed our toaster."

Eyes popping wide and a gasp escaping his mouth, Speedy could feel the light bulb blinking on suddenly in his head.

"That's it!" he said pounding his fist. "Dr. Purple! Pr. Plum! _The Plum Good Fix_! It's perfect!"

"What are talking about?" demanded Nobu, his feathers ruffling.

"Haven't you seen the add in the newspaper?" asked Guido lightly.

"Oh, that add!" said Al. "I thought about getting my old classic radio fixed, but when I saw the prices I didn't think it was worth it."

Speedy squinted. "You noticed the prices?"

"Yes," said Al. "They were right on the door. _Caveat emptor_ , after all, but I know what you mean. It seems like a good lead. Go and check that place out!"

Polly leapt forward. "Well, what are waiting for?! Let's go!"

"Wasabi plastered meat lovers' supreme in five larges!" rang the clear voice of Francine.

"Oh!" Polly growled.

"I'll go!" exclaimed Speedy.

"But I thought you were still not feeling well!" said Polly.

"Then I'll go!" Guido announced leaping in front.

"I'm coming too!" agreed Nobu.

Speedy crossed his arms grumpily and slumped against the counter.

"Stupid Dr. Purple," he muttered.

"Come on you guys, he's waiting!" said the anxious Francine.

"We're coming!" called Polly.

"Bye, Al, we'll call ya later!" cried Speedy and flipped off the screen before the dog could so much as say good bye in return.

Unfortunately when Guido and Nobu reached the fixit shop it was completely boarded up and abandoned. They scoured the whole place. The even found the back lab, but it was completely empty.

"Well, now we're just where we started," said Nobu. "Except that we did prove he was the guy."

Guido frowned. "Where ever he is now …"

#

It began with the Big Cheese, and nothing with him is savory except perhaps his expensive Swiss Cheese, which he had stolen from a shop when no one was looking and which had had just eaten most of on a pile of crackers. However with only a little bit left, and the Big Cheese's swiping skills not entirely the best, especially when comparing them to the skills of a ninja, he had to do something. Now with a little bit of leverage and a chance sighting of the Rude Noise going out for lunch themselves, he put his plan into action.

"Hey, fellas," he said all dark and mysteriously from under the shadow of the alleyway in which he hid. A broad traveler's hat hid his already masked face into sheer blackness.

Naturally unimpressed as a seasoned underworld scumbag Max retorted with some annoyance, "What do you want?"

"I need you to build me a robot," said the Big Cheese in the same tone as before.

Max snorted. "We already told Jerry. You got nothing to pay us with? We're not interested."

"Yes, I do," said the Big Cheese with a mysterious smile as he rubbed the end of his nose anime smugly and a shiny glint in his eye followed. "Lots of it."

"But Jerry said you were broke," said Cannonball Battery.

"I'm a ninja now," said the Big Cheese holding up a sack of money from beneath his robes. "And I just slipped in and out of the palace last night, and got some of the royal jewels. This is just a sample."

Glittering diamonds, gems, and golden trinkets reflected in the faces of the enticed crows who, as is common about their kinds, were attracted to gleaming things. Max pressed in quite closely, as close as the Big Cheese allowed, and the other three pressed up against their leader's back and shoulders until Max shoved them back.

Now it also must be added that the Big Cheese did not acquire these shinies in the manner in which he led the crows to believe. In reality the old fox had been attempting to assassinate the new prime minster, but got fearful of being caught suddenly when he had barely reached a servants' passage in the back of the grounds that would have led him inside.

Scared, he ran away, but not careful enough. He tripped over a large stone …

" _AAIIIIIIIIII!" cried the fox grabbing his toes and leaping up and down in utter agony, tears flooding his eyes. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"_

" _QUIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" screamed a voice from the palace._

 _It happened to be the princess. Too sleepy and angry to realize what she did, she actually threw a whole box of royal jewels out the window. The box had been destroyed, but the was treasure unharmed._

 _With eyes wide in disbelief; though he had become silent now and wary of the guards, he took in the sight of those glittering gems where he sat on the ground still clutching his foot._

 _Without another thought he grabbed up as much loot as he could just before Al showed up to investigate the disturbance. It was too late to know where the intruder had gone. The Big Cheese was sniggering quietly as he ran through the wood far away from the fox hole he had dug under the wall …_

"You say there's more?" asked Max then in the present, still unable to hide his interest.

"Oh, yes, loads and loads of it," the Big Cheese easily lied. "If you help me build my robot, I'll give you a share."

"And I thought Jerry was just bluffing about that royal treasure garbage," muttered Max.

"He was!" said the Big Cheese closing his eyes haughtily as he placed the treasure back into his robes. "And he's got nothing to do with this. I despise him."

The birds shrugged.

"Alright, Mr. Cheese," said Max with a grin. "What exactly did you have in mind for this robot of yours?"

"Oh, it's gunna be great!" exclaimed the Big Cheese. "You'll love it!" And he laughed. "Everyone will love it!" And he laughed some more.

"Are you gunna give us that advance now or what?" demanded Mojo Rojo.

The Big Cheese cleared and throat and with a frown he gave the foursome what they desired. "You just better make it good or else. I'm not used to actually _paying_ people for stuff like this."

"Yeah, yeah, just give us the plans and we'll make it," said the leader of the group carelessly. His covetous eyes glowed from the reflection of the treasures in his claws.


End file.
